Would you quit it, you're making me sick!
Why don't you make out with Nicky, and we'll call it a foursome?
Yeah, why don't you make out with my butt, and we'll call it love?
All S1
S1 E3Tricks and Treats
Kid, what the hell are you eating? Is that laundry soap?
It's lick-a-maid.
S1 E4Kim Kelly is My Friend
KKaren
I guess I'm just gonna have to mark this locker again. This time in geek blood.
I heard about what she does in the yearbook darkroom.
What? She does what? I have no idea what you're talking about.
She does it.
What do you mean, it?
She fornicates it!
YEAH, YOU SHOULD KNOW, I WANNA FOR YOU!!!
KKKim Kelly's Stepfather
You're grounded for good, YOU GOT ME?!
S1 E5Tests and Breasts
I don't really like jokes. I don't think they're funny.
What am I supposed to do with a porno?
You watch it. Over and over.
Ew, only perverts watch pornos, right?
Well, then every guy in America is a pervert.
She's hanging with a bad crowd. She's lying and cheating and next thing you know, she's Patty Hearst with a gun to our heads.
S1 E6I'm With the Band
What is wrong with them? Why do they think that hitting people with towels is so funny?
If it wasn't us, it would be kind of funny.
Will girls ever like us?
I think our best play is to go for the smart, sexy librarian type.
Stop looking up my shorts.
Why would we? There's nothing to see.
Just keep climbing, Wonder Woman.
There is something to see.
My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.
But you're not funny.
Screw you. I'm hilarious!
Rock 'n roll don't come from your brain. It comes from your crotch.
S1 E7Carded and Discarded
JJean
Nobody's home. You wanna have a little sex?
Sex?! Well, okay.
You can hardly stand to be around us. When you two were kids, you used to run around naked and lay in bed with us all night. We bathed you and we cleaned your butts when you pooped and we loved it. Now, we try to pat you on the head and you run for the hills. Well, I'm fed up. We are going to be close from now on whether you like it or not. We're going to spend quality time together, and we're going to enjoy it, damn it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Freaks and Geeks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.