Mallory Keaton quotes from Family Ties

Mallory

[witnessing her parents kissing in the kitchen] You guys have been married for a long time. Haven't you had enough?

Mallory

What do you say, Alex? She really thinks you're cute.

Alex

Look, Mallory. I don't go out with girls who have an IQ lower than room temperature, or have contagious diseases, or friends of yours. And there's certainly some overlap in those categories.

Alex

[turning on the radio] Oh I hope you don't mind, it's time for the commerce and shipping news.

Mallory

Alex we do mind we're doing a project for school here.

Alex

All right, all right I'll listen to it upstairs, it's a lot more exciting in stereo anyway.

Elyse

Who is Sherry Marshall?

Mallory

She happens to be a Pi Nu the best sorority in the whole world, she's the president.

Steven

Is she coming alone or with some secret service agents?

Mallory

So Alex what are you going to do? Sell your soul to the devil or your body to someone who is nearsighted?

Alex

Jennifer…

Jennifer

Sometimes when you keep a secret all to yourself you get a really bad headache.

Alex

I need your help.

Mallory

Do you want me to write one of your term papers for you?

Alex

This is no time for your jokes Mallory.

Mallory

I think you're changing Alex.

Alex

You may be right Mallory. I really learned a lot about myself today.

Mallory

What?

Alex

Well, I always thought that I knew myself. what I wanted. How I wanted to get it, and apparently, I was wrong.

Alex

I am just going to have to face the cold hard truth that underneath it all, like it or not, I am just a hell of a nice guy.

Mallory

I didn't know you kept a diary Jennifer, I thought I was the only one who did.

Alex

No no, yours is the only one we read.

Mallory

Everyone, I want you to meet Jamie Carter.

Steven

Alex, she said Jamie, not Jimmy.