Alex P. Keaton quotes from Family Ties

Alex

What is wrong with Sherry? You put a brain in that head, you've got a real special girl.

Alex

I admit my credibility is a bit suspect right now.

Alex

Great events make great men.

Alex

You know that I can only do things one way. Out of control.

Alex

After I "zoquo", I like to "ushnuu"

Elyse

Alex, maybe you're getting a little carried away here. I mean, if Kimberly doesn't like you or your family for who they are, then maybe she isn't worth caring about at all, don't you think?

Alex

Are you going to wear your hair like that, or are you going to put it up?

Alex

How do I look?

Steven

Middle-aged.

Alex

Dad, recent studies show, that you can predict success by the way a person dresses.

Steven

Alex, you're a young man. You shouldn't be worried about success. You should be thinking about hopping on a steam trainer, and going around the world, or putting a pack on your back and heading down to Mexico, South America, or anywhere.

Alex

The 1960's are over Dad.

Steven

Thanks for the tip.

Alex

Skippy, remember when we were little kids, and I accidentally ran over you with my bicycle?

Skippy

Yeah.

Alex

I drive a car now.

Mallory

What do you say, Alex? She really thinks you're cute.

Alex

Look, Mallory. I don't go out with girls who have an IQ lower than room temperature, or have contagious diseases, or friends of yours. And there's certainly some overlap in those categories.

Alex

[turning on the radio] Oh I hope you don't mind, it's time for the commerce and shipping news.

Mallory

Alex we do mind we're doing a project for school here.

Alex

All right, all right I'll listen to it upstairs, it's a lot more exciting in stereo anyway.

Elyse

What happened?

Alex

Oh he was going out for a pass and he ran into the pole.

Jennifer

I told you to run down and in Skippy, you were supposed to go to the pole and stop!

Skippy

I did, I stopped when I hit the pole.

Alex

It's like taking candy from a baby.

Jennifer

Brings back memories.

Steven

No movies, no dates....

Alex

Sounds fair.

Steven

... and no TV.

Alex

Not even Wall Street Week?

Steven

Especially not Wall Street Week.

Alex

Come on Dad. I didn't kill a guy!

Steven

Alex I am out $2,700. I am the major investor in an underwater video company in the Philippines. They probably have a picture of me in one of their huts with the caption, Our Founder. You are lucky to be getting off this easy.

Alex

Oh listen, just in case, I mean if this stock does go up, we are in this 50/50 right?

Mallory

So Alex what are you going to do? Sell your soul to the devil or your body to someone who is nearsighted?

Alex

Jennifer…

Jennifer

Sometimes when you keep a secret all to yourself you get a really bad headache.

Alex

Dad, I'm 138 and 0 against you [in chess].

Steven

138, 0 and 1. You forgot about the draw.

Alex

I had my appendix out that day.

Steven

The anesthesia had worn off.