[after shaking hands with the Boo Berry mascot at the store] I've been touched by greatness! I am never washing this hand again! This is the best thing to happen to me since I became a wise-cracking, fourth-wall-breaking superhero! [cutaway to Peter on a highway, dressed in a blood-red mercenary outfit] Call me "Redstool." The treatment didn't give me powers, but it did spread cancer to my anus.
[Redstool engages in a gory fight with some thugs with guns while a song to the tune of "Angel of the Morning" plays]
Just call me anus of the morning, anus/Just touch my cheek before you leave me, anus/This violence juxtaposed to music, anus/Decapitation in slow-motion, anus
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