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S4

Family Guy · Season 4

Judge and Peter in “Petarded”

JJudge

Well, if there's nothing further, I hereby sentence--

Wait, wait, wait. Your Honor, there is something further. Look, I know I screwed up big time. But I only did it so I could get my kids back. I love them. And I think it's a bum rap that just because I'm retarded that makes me an unfit parent. There are plenty of unfit parents out there who aren't retarded but they get to keep their kids. Bing Crosby, Joan Crawford. I think the Ramseys still got one left. I just want them back, Your Honor, and you're the only one who can help me. What do you say?

JJudge

Are you kidding? You're a monster! In fact, if I could, I would put you in a place where you would be removed from the general public. Perhaps locked in a big, secure building with other dangerous people for a pre-determined period of time, based on the nature and degree of your offense. Unfortunately, as far as I know, no such place exists. So, I have no choice but to set you free.

Does that mean I get my kids back?

JJudge

Absolutely not! Case closed! [bangs his gavel]

Oh, crap! [to the judge] Oh, it was prison you were thinking of. Prison.

JJudge

Aw, I already banged the hammer!

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