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S3

Family Guy · Season 3

Peter and Tom in “Ready, Willing, and Disabled”

[Peter enters Tom Tucker's office, falsely handicapped]

Mr. Tucker, I have just become handicapped like Joe Swanson. And I demand commercial endorsements and a TV movie based on me starring Valerie Bertinerni.

But, Mr. Griffin,...

Ah-ah. [extracts tape] I even got the first piece you're gonna run: exclusive video footage of my tragic accident.

[he inserts the tape in the TV/VCR, and video of him is shown]

[on tape] Oh, no! A car going too fast to stop in time! AIEEEEE!

[the tape cuts to a shot of a scarecrow getting hit by the approaching car, then cuts back to Peter, who is on the ground, wailing and flailing]

I'm handicapped now!

[Tom pauses the tape]

Mr. Griffin, you can't possibly expect me to believe this. That was a scarecrow dressed in your clothes.

Oh, come on!

[runs the tape back] And when I freeze-frame,...

[he pauses at a point where the car hit the scarecrow, and behind the wheel is...]

That's you driving the car.

Well, there's your hook!

Get out.

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