[Running after Thaddeus] Excuse me!
Aah!
Don’t kill me. I’m a doctor. I can help you. Haven’t run into many people traveling with a human head.
Oh, this? It’s not... It’s nothing really, it’s more of a... I have to... It’s a souvenir kind of thing.
Oh, yeah? [Walking through semi-sand-submerged house window] Welcome to my humble pharmacy. Have a seat, my dear boy, and let’s take a look at that tattered tootsy of yours. [Thaddeus takes off boot and sock] Oh... Oh. I’ve seen this condition before.
Uh, someone stepped on my foot.
Yes. Sometimes fatal. But you’re in luck, ’cause I’ve got the cure. [Turns to table of medicines] I have, in my possession, serums and potions for every malady and misfortune that could possibly beset a wandering traveler such as yourself.
[Salesman hears Thaddeus's pistol hammer clicks and sees raising his pistol at him from mirror] What’s stopping me from just killing you and taking your whole thing of drugs?
Well, when it comes to serums, not many people know the difference between the noxious and the benign. A murky hue of green could aid the humors. A brackish tint of shamrock, and... [blows raspberry] That’s the sound of your lower intestine falling right the fuck out. [Waves vials in both hands] But which is which? Which is which...
Fine. Just give me the right one.
Okay. Before we start, there’s the small matter of my fee.
I don’t have caps, but.. [Produces fusion core]
Oh, my. Is- is that a.. fusion core? You don’t see those around much anymore, do you? But, if you do want to survive... not a bad trade.
Okay, here.
Okay, let’s get started. This elixir I have concocted heals all. And I mean everything. But I must warn you, the taste: not great.
Just give it!
Okay. [Thaddeus inhales sharply with Salesman laughing heartily] I’m sorry!
But the results...
Yes? The results! [Thaddeus gasps as his foots heals immediately]
Holy shit. Holy shit! Ah, thank you!
Sure thing, buddy boy! Ah... [Slams briefcase shut]
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