Les Dennis and Andy in “Episode 4”

You don't remember. Nobody remembers. That's why I'm in a shitty little panto, where the only people laughing were that bunch of gays.

Nothing wrong with gays.

I know. But they'll laugh at anything. No victory in making a bunch of gays laugh, they laugh at anything. Look at that Graham Norton.

He's alright, i'n' he?

Is he? Is this funny, is it? "Oooh! Look at this website about cocks and fannies. Oooh! Jackie Collins, what lovely tits. Do you like a cock up your arse? Oooh!" Is that funny?

It is quite funny when you do it, but keep it down a little bit, 'cause you're in a pub

What is that? I want to do something more high-brow, Oscar Wilde or something.

Yeah, definitely, he was gay.

I know. But not in the same way. He was clever. Would this have been funny? Him going through customs: "I have nothing to declare but my genius. Ooooh! And this vibratin' tongue for pleasurin' fannies. Oooh!" Is that funny?

Again quite funny when you do it. But it's Sunday, can you keep the "fannies" down to a minimum?