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SEASON 1

Elementary · Season 1

Elementary Season 1 quotes

298 quotes · page 4 of 20

S1 E15Unfinished Business

It's funny, when I moved in, you didn't mention anything about your little uhh, surveillance system.

This is my sanctum sanctorum. Did you honestly believe there wouldn't be security measures?

OK, is that M (gestures to a photo)? You told a bunch of children to go to upscale hotels to look for him, why?

Note the hands, vintage MG driving gloves. Quite expensive, but not nearly as expensive as his John Varvatos shoes. M has money. That much is obvious. He's also a recent immigrant to New York. Why did I assume he'd be in a hotel as oppose to a property he might own? Well it's quite simple, I noted a curious scent on the note that he left. I quickly realized it was, in fact, a combination of scents. Those of the high end hand soap and an even higher end mint based shampoo. Each product is used by various upscale hotels around the city but only one chain, The Bettancourt, stocks both. My attendants and I each took a Bettancourt and watched for M.

Right, that's all very impressive, but I wanna know why you shared a photo of a wanted serial killer with a bunch of kids instead of going to the NYPD.

Several weeks ago you learned of the existence of a woman named Irene Adler. I told you she died.

M killed her.

Obviously he realized the degree to which I was assisting the British police in the hunt to find him. He zeroed in on me, made things personal. As to why I'm withholding information from the NYPD, it's quite simple. I have no intention of capturing M. I have every intention of torturing, and murdering him.

MMoran

I knew you'd make the right decision. You're a rare thing in this world, Holmes. You're an honorable man.

A famous statistician once stated that while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he becomes a mathematical certainty. You can, for example, never foretell what any one man will do, but you can, with precision, say what an average man will do. Individuals vary, percentages remain constant. So says the statistician. I... am not an average man. (stabs Moran)

(Holmes is studying his board of clues and theories to the identity of "Moriarty".)

And how does Napoleon Bonaparte fit in?

By the time of my third night without sleep, I may have been reaching.

Your hobby is conspiracy theories?

No, of course not. Conspiracy theories are pure sophistry. Large groups of people cannot keep secrets. My hobby is conspiracy theorists. I adore them as one would a barmy uncle or a pet that can’t stop walking into walls.

I thought there was no such thing as conspiracy theories?

Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Watson.

Their plan to attack it was so good they made it a national secret.

The world is balanced on a knife edge of destruction every single day. You accept that, and you can just get on with things.

I'm glad your bust was such a success last night, but this place still smells like stripper.

I'm going to bed. You need anything?

I know that Catherine Drummond is obsessed with her work. She prides herself on the accuracy of her profiles, but do you think she would have gone so far as to destroy a family to lend credence to one of her claims?

Did you ever consider the possibility that she lied about you in the article?

What would she have to gain? I was never revealed as the subject in the article. No one ever compared me to it. Anyway, she got a good deal right.

She predicted your drug problem. So what? You got clean. You picked up your career right where you left off, and you even made a friend, something that Catherine claimed in her article was virtually impossible. Me. I'm talking about me. Look, my point is, the only thing that anyone can predict about people with 100 percent certainty is that they'll change, and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves.

(Holmes is watching the amateur pornographic movie that was shot in Watson's apartment.)

If I were you, I wouldn't be upset that a dirty movie was produced in my home. I would be upset that it was produced so sloppily. And if you haven't already, I strongly recommend that you find yourself a new spatula.

(Joan vacates her apartment after finding out that her sublet used it to shoot a pornographic movie.)

BBruce

What do you want?

I want you and Cooper to pay for all of my stuff to be put in storage until I find a new place. I also want $1,200 for that couch, because after everything it's been through in that movie, it needs to be taken out back and shot.

How are you not a total wreck right now? If my kid was taken and held for ransom, I don't know if I could keep it together. You seem quite... I don't know, Zen.

RKRhys Kinlan

I made a delivery once to Holmes at Scotland Yard. Crazy, right? Crazier still, he invites me to stay and watch him assist in the interrogation of this lunatic who'd been planting car bombs all over the city. The police knew there was another one out there, but they didn't know where it was. Holmes is in the room with the guy for, like, five minutes, figures out where the bomb is from a couple of stains on the guy's shoes. You ask why I'm not a total wreck? Because I believe in Sherlock Holmes.

In the meantime, you should expect more guerilla-style tests of your ability to fight back!

(Watson's door slams.)

(evil smile) You have been warned.

(on Officer Reyes) She boxes. I can tell from her knuckles and the tape residue. Perhaps she would agree to spar with you. Give me an idea of what you might be like with an opponent in your similar weight class.

Are you sure this sudden new interest in my safety has nothing to do with watching two women engage in some foxy boxing?

You think you're foxy?

(Holmes throws a tennis ball at Watson's back.)

OW! What the hell was that about?!

Don't be cross. It could have been a knife.

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