Good morning, adolescents. Please take your seats. Taylor, take off your headphones or I will sell them on the internet. [looks at the empty seat] We have an empty seat, who's not here?
[runs up to Mrs. Hayfer] Mrs. Hayfer, the lunch ladies are fighting again.
What is it about sloppy joe day that makes those women so violent? [as she leaves] Helga? Helga?!
So what are the lunch ladies fighting about?
Oh, they're not fighting.
Why'd you tell Mrs. Hayfer they were fighting?
[walks in] Thank you, Becca.
Of course.
And how could I ever repay you?
I think you can guess. [Drake and Becca kiss on the cheek] Let me know if you need more help.
Let me know if you need more Drake. [Becca walks away] Oh, and Josh, you left your ointment at home.
Is nothing personal?
Well, the lunch ladies were not fighting and I don't know why those girls called- [sees Drake sitting down] Drake Parker, were you here when I left?
Oh, oh, yeah, totally. You probably didn't see me because I had my face buried in this book.
Are you lying to me Drake?
Would I lie to you?
Let me think, yes. But I know someone who never lies. [walks over to Josh] Josh? Was Drake on time to my class today?
Um, you know, what is time? When you think about it because Einstein theorized that time actually-
Josh!
[whines] No, he wasn't here on time.
Josh!
[continues whining] He told that girl to come in here so you'd have to leave so he could to sneak into class. I'm sorry, I can't lie. If you murder me in my sleep tonight I'd appreciate you doing it in a way that's not painful. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! [ends up getting a scary emotion]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Drake & Josh quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Drake & Josh pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


