[in Drake and Josh's room, Josh makes his bed until Drake arrives]
Josh, I have a problem.
Does it itch?
No. My problem is Wendy, your little forest fire kid.
Ohh. Your #1 fan.
Yeah, who's obsessed with me. Today, she verbally assaulted my date. And look, Megan found her notebook.
[hands Wendy's notebook to Josh]
Oh-ho. She wrote "Drake and Wendy" over and over. [flips through every page] Hey. If you flip through the pages really fast, there's a little cartoon of you two walking and holding hands.
[shows it to Drake]
Oh, yeah, I wonder-- [flings the notebook in the air] D'OH, THIS IS NO TIME FOR ANIMATION! She's obsessed with me!
You're exaggerating.
Oh, yeah? Here, check out her answering machine.
[walks over to the phone, then starts dialing Wendy's home number and presses a button]
[on answering machine] Hi, this is Wendy. Drake's not here right now. But if he were, that would be so awesome! I love you, Drake! Please leave a message.
[the phone beeps]
See what I mean?
So? She has a crush on you. It's cute. When I was her age, I had a crush on Oprah.
Oprah?
She's inspirational! Dude, don't worry about Wendy. This week, she loves you. Next week, she'll love...
[jokingly] Oprah?
Don't mock me.
Fine. I just hope you're right.
I am right. And you should really give Oprah a chance, she is quite--
[they hear knocking on their window]
What's that?
I don't know.
[they walk over to find out, Drake opens the blinds and is shocked to see Wendy with a jar of pickles]
Aah! Wendy? What are you doing here?
I brought you some pickles. Oh, and will you marry me? [Drake closes the blinds on her, then turns to Josh and is irritated] They're vertically sliced for sandwiches!
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