Topher Brink quotes from Dollhouse

[Reading from list] Pizza squares, ice cream bites, beef jerky? Okay, you may be the boy god of all things neuro, and I do worship at the altar of your genius, but I am not getting you all of this stuff.

Topher

Ivy, babe, add juice boxes.

You're privilege abusing.

Topher

Do you want to know how to avoid spandrels when aligning rigid designators?

Grape or apple?

Topher

The actual procedure isn't any more complicated than laser eye correction, it ain't brain surgery.

Dr. Saunders

Actually, it is brain surgery. We're going to be turning Echo into a human camera, and in order to do that, she's going to have to be made blind.

Topher

Not permanently. [Dr. Saunders shoots him a look] In theory.

DeWitt

So this is it?

Topher

Yes. The latest in CSEVP: Cortical Stimulation for Evocation of Visual Perception.

Dr. Saunders

Brain camera for the blind.

Topher

Or that.

Dr. Saunders

One good sneeze could bring on a seizure.

Topher

Or even worse, a sneezure.

Topher

Doctor?

Dr. Saunders

Topher?

Topher

Hello.

Dr. Saunders

Hello.

Topher

So listen. Here’s the thing. I was looking -- glancing -- I noticed… Victor.

Dr. Saunders

You noticed Victor.

Topher

Mm-hmm. In the shower, and he’s… naked.

Dr. Saunders

Victor’s naked in the shower.

Topher

Right. Anyway, he seemed to be having a kind of… man-reaction.

Dr. Saunders

A what?

Topher

A, you know, reaction that a man -- person might have in the… you know, the… naked part. Shower. Victor.

Dr. Saunders

Victor had an erection?

Topher

I prefer man-reaction.

Dr. Saunders

Why?

DeWitt

Are you making any progress?

Topher

I'm working! What are you doing, besides ... being ...

DeWitt

Being what?

Topher

Wait a minute.

DeWitt

Sarcastic? Unfeeling? British?

Topher

It's an animal.

DeWitt

Where?

Topher

No! The word!

DeWitt

Still you have to admit I am very British. I don't say hard ... 'Rs'

Topher

You know what I like? Brown Sauce? What's it made of? Science doesn't know!

DeWitt

It's made of brown.

Topher

Brown...mined from the earth by the hard scrabble brown miners of north Brownderton!

DeWitt

Oh my god, I find lentils completely incomprehensible.

Topher

Our problems are huge and indomitable.

DeWitt

Ooh, I could eat that word. Or a crisp. Do you have any crisps?

Topher

You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches?

Topher

I found this in the chair.

Boyd

And?

Topher

This chip let someone access the primary imprint protocol, which means they could have altered my imprints. I make a cheerleader. They make a cheerleader that shoots people! Or an assassin that does cheers! Or any active, any time, with a parameter we don't know about.

Boyd

We have a spy.

Topher

Inside the dollhouse.

Boyd

You think it's me? You think I'm the spy?

Topher

Not in a bad way.

Boyd

They find out that you talked to me before you called DeWitt, they'll fry you.

Topher

Yeah. I didn't really think that through.

Echo

Everyone's unhappy today.

Topher

Somebody put her tiny little thinking cap on!

Echo

He was mean to you. Were you not your best?

Topher

If it hadn't been for me, there'd still be a security breach. You'd think the security head would recognize that! Typical middle management hack. He's mad at me for not discovering it before it happened, but I'm not a counter-intelligence agent, so I can't catch a spy. And you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Echo

I can help you.

Topher

Why would you want to?

Echo

Why wouldn't I?

Topher

Did I just lose an argument to a doll? Okay, thanks, but you can't help.

Echo

You make people different. [Sits in imprint chair] You can make me help.

Boyd

So we can give you life after death?

Topher

Only if we really like you.

Boyd

Life after death. Where does that end?

Topher

Same place it begins. Death.

Paul

So this is it. This is where you steal their souls.

Topher

Yeah, and then we put them in a glass jar next to our fireflies. Why is there a tall, morally judgmental man in my imprint room besides him? [points to Boyd]

Good news on the coma front?

Topher

Uuuhhhhhhh... yeah. Good news is that he's in a coma.

I beg your pardon?

Boyd

Just show her what you showed me.

Topher

[Shows Adelle a brain scan] This is a brain. A healthy brain. Frankly an... overly smart brain... it's my brain. And this is Terry Karrens' brain. [Shows Adelle another brain scan] See these dark areas? How they extend all the way out to here? You know why that looks like that? That's because Terry Karrens doesn't use that part of his brain. And that'd be where you find stored such things as empathy, compassion... an aversion to disemboweling puppies. Basically, this is what some of your more famous serial killers' brains look like.

You're quite certain of this?

Topher

Certain enough that I have serious ethical problems trying to wake him up.

Boyd

Topher has ethical problems. Topher.

Topher

Heh. Way to land it.

Topher

Do you know where you are?

I'm in hell.

Topher

You're in Los Angeles. I can understand the mixup.

That's him. What's his name?

Topher

Victor.

I love him. Is that real?

Topher

Yes. Yes, it's real. He loves you back.

Topher

[to Adelle] Aren't we supposed to care for these people? Doctor Saunders would never have allowed-!

Adelle

[While drunk] Which Doctor Saunders would that be? The avuncular physician so brutally cut down not five feet from where you were standing? Or the last woman to whom you gave a permanent imprint - the other wounded flower you restored by offering her a new life - who apparently found you so unbearable she had to flee the city. Is it that one?

Topher

Okay, so we have had an active, Whiskey. She was rendered unengageable. So we - *I* made her into a doctor. Uh - and you - so I thought maybe - similar - Bennet - the real Bennett would use an active to...

Bennett

You thought... That's idiotic. Actives are beautiful.

Topher

Yeah.