Jackie quotes from Doctor Who

We've got to tell someone.

Who do we trust? For all we know, they've all got big... bog monsters inside of 'em! I mean, this is what he does, Jacks. That Doctor bloke. Everywhere he goes, death and destruction. And he's got Rose in the middle of it.

Has he got a great big green thing inside him, then?

I wouldn't put it past him. But like it or not, he's the only person who knows how to fight these things.

There's a way out.

What?

There's always been a way out.

Then why don't we use it?

[to Jackie, over the phone] Because I can't guarantee your daughter will be safe.

Don't you dare! Whatever it is, don't you dare!

That's the thing. If I don't dare, everyone dies.

Do it.

You don't even know what it is. You'd just let me?

Yeah.

Please, Doctor, please, she's my daughter, she's just a kid.

Do you think I don't know that? 'Cause this is my life, Jackie - it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision. Because nobody else will.

Then what are you waiting for?

I could save the world but lose you.

They can't get in. Old windows and doors, okay. The older something is, the stronger it is. What else? [to the others] Go and check the other doors! Move!

What's happening? What are they? What are they?

There's been an accident in time, a wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage.

What do you mean, "time"?! What're you jabbering on about, "time"?!

Oh, I might've known you'd argue. Jackie, I'm sick of you complaining.

How do you know my name?!

I haven't got time for this--

I've never met you in my life!

No, and you never will unless I sort this out. Now, if you don't mind, I've waited a long time to say this: [extremely sternly, right in her face] JACKIE TYLER, DO AS I SAY! GO AND CHECK THE DOORS!

[quietly] Yes, sir. [goes to do so]

[chuffed] I should have done that ages ago.

Have a look! [she shows him a banner that says "Happy 40th Birthday"]

What's wrong with that?

40! It says 40!

You are forty!

Well, I don't want the whole world telling, do I?

You're having a party tonight!

My thirty-ninth! My official biography says I was born on the same day as Cuba Gooding, Jr., and that makes me thirty-nine, thank you very much.

[voice-over] I'd been trained for this. Victor Kennedy's classes covered basic surveillance and espionage. Step one: engage your target. Find some excuse to start a conversation. But how was I gonna do this? How?

Excuse me love, you couldn’t give us a quid for two fifties, could you?

Yeah... Just a... ah, da-da!

Oh lovely! Cheers.

[voice-over] Step two: without provoking suspicion, get on first name terms with the target.

My name's Jackie. By the way.

I'm Elton.

Ah, you don’t meet many Eltons, do you? Apart from the obvious!

[voice-over] Step three: ingratiate yourself with a joke or some humourous device.

I tell you what, Elton. Here we are, complete strangers, and I’m flashing you me' knickers!

[voice-over] Step four: find some subtle way to integrate yourself into the target’s household.

Mind you, I’m only down here because my washing machine’s knackered. I don’t suppose you’re any good at fixing things, are you?

You're always doing this, reducing it to science. Why can't it be real? Just think of it, though. All the people we've lost, our families, coming back home. Don't you think it's beautiful?

I think it's horrific.

You always travel with a companion. There's no point hiding anything. Not from us. So where is she?

Yes. Sorry, good point. She's just a bit shy, that's all.

But here she is, Rose Tyler! Hm, she's not the best I've ever had. Bit too blonde. Not too steady on her pins. A lot of that [makes a movement with his hand to indicate she talks too much] And just last week she stared into the heart of the time vortex and aged 57 years. But she'll do.

I'm forty!

Deluded. Bless. I'll have to trade her in. Do you need anyone? She's very good at tea. Well, when I say "very good" I mean not bad. Well, I say "not bad"—anyway, lead on. Allons-y! But not too fast. Her ankle's going.

[enraged] I'll show you where my ankle's going!

[confused] Well, if that's Rose Tyler, who's she?!

[indignant] I'm her mother!

Oh, you travel with her mother?!

He kidnapped me!

Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history, don't tell people I travelled through time and space with her mother!

[annoyed] Charming!

I've got a reputation to uphold!