So you're not going to give me anything for my throat?
No. And I'm not going to give you anything for the chip on your shoulder either.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Mr Fenn, there is a high probability you have a cancer of the larynx. You'll need surgery and you may well lose your voice, which has a certain appeal, now you may not care about this but unfortunately I'm paid to
(On telephone) Richard Edgerton, ENT. Dr Ellingham, I have a patient who needs an urgent laryngoscopy. I'd say it was a carcinoma of the larynx. Yes, that is my opinion.
(To the dog who is rooting around in the bin)
Stop it. Stop it! Well, because I'm a doctor he's a smoker with a lump in his neck. Would you like the tumour to write to you?
(The dog now has his head in the bin)
(Shouts) Will you get out of that bin!
What do you do when you're not working?
I'm always working.
Elaine, what's happened to you?
It's tan.
It's orange.
I don't mind him having a woman, just not one with a bloody dog in her handbag.
ERA&E Receptionist
Is it me or do you not understand plain English?
It's you.
(Visiting Roger in hospital) I can't believe Martin hasn't been here. At least he could tell you what's going on.
I know *exactly* what's going on. I'm pushed out of my job an inch before I qualify for a pension and on the day when I may be about to lose my voice forever I find myself having to *chat* with the woman who replaced me.
JDJunior Doctor
I read you on blocked carotids.
Don't suck up.
Has the surgeon been in?
Yes. And I thought *you* were a smug bastard.
(Roger Fenn is about to have an operation on his voicebox which may result in him losing his voice. Doc Martin has just confessed to him the reason that he stopped being a surgeon and became a GP).
You probably want to keep that quiet.
(Ironically) Yeah, I wouldn't want the village to fall out of love with me.
Your secret's safe with me.
Well it's not like you're going to be able to tell anyone anyway, is it?
(Long pause, while Roger decides whether or not to be offended by Doc Martin's tactlessness. Then he chuckles.)
Had any family in?
Grown-up daughter. Decided not to call her, she stopped needing me a long time ago. Has a TV set of her own. You?
No. Only child.
Parents dead?
No. Retired. Portugal. Gone.
Nice.
Vile. We don't speak.
You are a miserable bugger.
(Taking this as a compliment) Thank you.
(Louisa walks towards Doc Martin)
Louisa! You're looking...
(She completely ignores him)
...Straight through me.
Hello, Fenn, how are you?
Don't you think it's a little late for the concerned GP routine?
What in God's name are you...?
When you have precisely one patient I'd think you'd want to visit him in hospital. No, Roger, don't try and speak.
(Very hoarse) He *did* come and see me. Depressed the hell out of me.
It was mutual.
Well...
(To Martin)
You could've told me.
I tried, but that woman shushed me.
Can I come up and talk to you about chemo...
Sh, sh, sh. Rest that voice. I'll see if I can squeeze you in.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doc Martin pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.