JPJohn the Paramedic
(To Martin): A little advice, mate. The less you speak, the better it is for everyone.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
SShopkeeper
How are you, Louisa? Are you sore?
A little bit.
Where?
It's nothing.
Where are you sore?
Where do you think?
Is it just the perineum?
The what?
The perineum—between the anus and the vagina.
(Embarrassed) Martin, we're in a shop.
(To Martin after talking about the perineum)
MCMike Chubb
Preserve the romance, Dr. Ellingham.
Have you had this medication before?
BMrs. Bollard
No.
No. And why is that, Mrs Bollard?
BMrs. Bollard
Don't know, Dr. Ellingham.
Yes, you do. You've already damaged your liver and, until you get your alcohol consumption under control, Diclofenac will make it worse.
BMrs. Bollard
The new doctor said I could have some for my ankles.
Well, she's wrong. Put it back.
Louisa Glasson, to Ruth, having just met her: So, you're Joan's sister.
That's right. I'm sure Martin's told you all about me.
Oh, yes, yes, of course, he has.
Don't lie, dear; but, if you must, do it with conviction.
(Martin's speech on his aunt's funeral)
Cardiovascular diseases cause more deaths in this country than any other medical condition. Joan was overweight, refused to exercise, and had a poor diet. Cardiovascular disease is caused by an atheroma in the walls of the arteries around the heart. A good percentage of the people in this church are clinically obese. Eating a healthy diet and keeping physically active not only protects your heart but reduces the risk of a stroke or dementia.
Bert Large. Proprietor.
Ruth Ellingham. Psychiatrist.
Did you know that Joan left you the farm?
That bloody woman. And I only gave her slippers for Christmas.
You do realise that vegetables grow on your farm?
If they leapt out of the ground and cleaned themselves, I might be tempted to cook them.
(Bert Large is at the surgery because of a revision)
Cristals and canals on my ear? The next you will tell me is that I've got a magic castle with a fairy princess on my nose.
Why that?
There's a peculiar odour in this room...
I'm afraid that's the smell of murder, Doc.
It's like... garlic.
And French cooking.
Oh, and read him a bed time story. He seems to like the one about the talking fire engine.
Hm. Highly unlikely he can grasp the concept of a fire engine, let alone one that's apparently sentient.
(Martin's bed time story) Um. This is an article by Dr Henry Wolfestein on the need to focus on cytotoxic therapies for cancer patients. That's a picture of Dr Wolfestein there. Patients with advanced liver cancer who had not previously received chemotherapy were randomly allocated to three different regimens representing minimal, conventional and intensive cytotoxic treatment. Patients with impaired renal function were excluded from the study and the results stratified according to retrospective analysis based on previous research.
(To Louisa) It's been such a long time. I suppose I should be annoyed by making me a grandmother. I'm a bit young for that. Don't you think?
Biological speaking you are exactly on the right age. Fifty-seven, fifty-eight.
(Eyeing Martin) Yeah. Round there.
Have you got any avocado oil?
This is a pharmacy, not a voodoo store, Eleanor.
Sally! I didn't recognise you. Sea air is *really* harsh on the skin, isn't it?
You're back.
Yes, for Lulu.
Yes, that will be a nice change for Louisa.
Not before time, thank God. Poor thing's swamped. And that man of hers - total waste of space.
(Indignantly) Doctor Ellingham is one of the finest human beings I have ever met.
(Cattily) Well I don't suppose you meet that many. Never really heard the call of the wild, did you?
I heard the call. I just chose not to listen. I leave that to the likes of you.
Life's adventuress.
That wasn't quite the word I had in mind.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doc Martin pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.