Dawson's Creek · Season 4
When we weren't having sex. And everything and every moment wasn't about sex.
I don't know if that time ever really existed.
I guess you're right. Before, when we hadn't had sex, everything was about sex. Now that we've have had sex…
Everything is still about sex. Do you think we're doing something wrong?
No. Do you?
No.
Just promise me something.
Anything.
That you'll always be as honest with me as you were last night. Cause that's the hardest part about having a relationship. It's so much harder than sex. And trusting someone is like this gigantic act of faith. You put it out there and you can never really be sure if you're gonna get it back. Sex... sex is just mechanical.
I want to apologize.
For what?
For that question I asked you a couple weeks ago. That very personal question. I should have never asked you. I don't know why I did. It was some masochistic side of me that I haven't explored yet. Probably the same side of me that's sabotaging my relationship with Gretchen.
You think you're sabotaging your relationship?
Well, mentioning you every 30 seconds, I'm sure it doesn't help.
You lied to Dawson about you and Pacey having sex.
I made a decision, a very private decision about my life and I really don't want the whole world to know about that.
You really don't want Dawson to know about that.
It's the same thing.
No it's not, Joey. I don't want to be an ogre here, but lying to Dawson isn't going to solve anything. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to somebody who's trying to have a relationship with him.
Meaning you.
You know, I don't think I like this turn that our relationship is taking here. You have no respect for my feelings, we never talk anymore.
[Joey keeps kissing him. He groans]
Pace, we spent 9 months talking. We've been doing this for two weeks.
[She goes back to kissing]
But this still doesn't mean you get to treat me like a sex object.
Oh, I can tell you're all broken up about it.
Worthington is what you want, right?
It doesn't matter what I want, Dawson.
Yes or no?
Yes.
Then I want you to have Mr. Brooks' money.
Dawson, are you insane? I can't.
Joey, I... I've watched you go through so much pain in your life. I mean, even before your mom got sick and your dad...
Don't do this. Don't feel sorry for me, Dawson.
I don't. That's not what this is about. Jo, all the pain I've watched you go through, I've never been able to fix it before. And this I can fix. All I need you to do is let me.
What you felt the other night at the movie theater, that something was finally right between us... I felt that, too. And nothing will ever change that... not going to school on different coasts. Not meeting people who we're meant to love forever... nothing. And I want you to have this [Hands her an envelope with a check in it]
But, Dawson...
I don't know how I feel about you sleeping with Pacey. I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow or next week or next year for that matter, but I'm absolutely certain that giving you this is the right thing to do. Because I'm certain about us... and what we mean to each other. And I think you are, too.
It's not that I don't want you to be able to go off and realize your dreams, Joey, because I do. But for the first time, I just... I felt like it wasn't me that was holding you back from it.
Pacey, you've never held me back. You have to stop thinking like that.
You know what? I could stop thinking like that if you'd just promise me one thing, that if the day ever comes, and it may come much sooner than either one of us thinks, but if that day ever comes where you did feel like I was holding you back... promise me that you'd cut me loose, yeah?
Pacey...
Promise me that.
I won't promise you that. You're asking me to promise to let you go. I can't do that.
I'm still trying to process this whole college thing. You know, it's... kinda weird to get your dream.
I know it. I say that every time I look at you.
You always do that. You change the subject.
Joey, we're not talking about this today, because we're not talking about anything negative today, because today is your day to celebrate this most amazing accomplishment that you have worked so hard for.
How does it surprise you every day?
Good question. A city like New York where everything's moving all the time at this constant driving pace, right? It's like a living organism breathing and changing, and over time your relationship to it becomes like this incredible romance, you know? At first, it's intoxicating, irresistible, and then slowly it becomes comfortable and safe. You have this cellular connection to it, as if you've known each other forever, like your oldest happiness, and sometimes you're on the outs, and sometimes you're making up, and every now and then you catch yourself in this transcendent moment where you think to yourself, "oh, my god, I'm madly in love with you, and I always will be." And I think that's when it surprises me.
Whoa, that's a good answer.
I want to make love to you so much. So much. And I really believe that that was why we came here, but it's not. I guess just as much as I want you and I love you, we're not gonna do this.
Why not?
Because when we go there, it's not gonna be because you have something to prove to yourself. It's gonna be because we love each other, and because we're prepared to show each other what that really means.
[picking Pacey up at jail] You're not satisfied with being a moron and failure. You gotta add drunk to your list of credentials?
[Gets angry and attacks Doug] What? This is it for me! [Doug tries to hold him off] This is my whole life right here! This is all I get.
I still have my distortions and my delusions. I still think that everything should be perfect, and that Joey and I should have slept together for the first time. What I realized is that I gotta let go. You know, it's time. And there's so much ahead of me. I mean, there's college, there's... there's this new baby... and there's you.
So what are you saying?
I'm in love with you, and I no longer remember what we're waiting for.
Neither do I.
You knew, didn't you? Oh, god, all this time. My life got uglier and messier, and then you sent me away. You... you made me feel ashamed. You... you punished me for all these things that were beyond my control. You saw me standing in the doorway. Ohh! And you never said anything. I wasn't...
I didn't...
No. I don't need a confession from you. That's not why I came here. I don't need you to apologize to me for all the pain that you've caused me, and I don't have to forgive you. All I have to do is forgive myself for these things that I can't change. Good-bye, daddy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dawson's Creek pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
