[about Jen] Oh god, she's perfect.
Perfect? Dawson, you disappoint me.
Well, I grant you that the girl has certain physical attributes but nothing so original or mysterious to warrant perfection.
I mean, a face like that leaves nothing to the imagination. The well-maintained good looks of an upper-middle class New Yorker. There's no mystery there. I can see her entire future in that pose.
Yeah. In three years her above-average SAT scores will grant her admission into a small liberal arts college somewhere in New England where she'll major in...art history before returning to Manhattan to marry a bond trader she meets some Saturday afternoon at America's cup watching party. Within a year they move to suburban Connecticut, refurbish an old farm house, and raise three neurotically perfect children.
You've put quite a bit of thought into this.
Not really. It's just so obvious.
Well, to be honest, I think I prefer to let Jen surprise me, okay?
Suit yourself. I'm just trying to save you some time.
Well, if you can stand the shock, I actually came to see you. I need some advice.
And in what field do you consider me an expert in?
You know, I'm sort of busy here with these receipts and locking up. Maybe we could do this another time.
I told him I wasn't a virgin.
It's just that he seemed so disappointed in me, which of course made me angry and now I don't know where we are.
Well, let me tell you about Dawson. Granted he's articulate for his age but he's not exactly mature. He's the classic only child. He pouts when things don't go his way and he only sees things in black and white. Anything else confuses him.
And when it comes to women...there are popes who have had more experience. I mean the guy was a shrimp until last summer. To say his sex life is limited is the understatement of the decade. It's barren. A desert. I don't envy what you have to deal with, believe me.
You're not trying to scare me off, are you?
No. I'm just trying to say that every guy that grows up to be one of the good ones...he was probably a dweeb with girls when he was 15, too.
Same as you. I'd get hurt, mad, confused, ask people for advice, maybe the wrong people, and then I'd wait.
For him to grow up, come around, everything.
And how long does that take?
Don't go by me. I'd probably be stupid enough to wait forever.
Hanging out with all your friends?
Yep. That's why you weren't invited.
Phasers on stun, I come in peace. You're going to screw it up, you know?
Jen. She came and talked to me. I told her sit tight, he'll be back...
Thanks. Appreciate it, Joey.
I explained to her that it's just displaced anger and you're just mad at your mom and dad.
I'm mad at the world, Joey. I'm a teenager.
[on TV] Well, Bob, it looks like tomorrow would be a good day just to stay in bed.
BBob
You've got that right, Gail.
God, could they be any more obvious? So, Gail, what are your current views on the situation in Bosnia? Will you be jumping my bones after the broadcast?
Look, maybe you better go, Joey. My verbal vomit's out of control today.
I know what you're going through Dawson. You're struggling to find answers. You want to know why she's cheating but it's all perception, Dawson. Let me just offer the one ounce of wisdom I can bring to this table. You know instead of asking why your mother's doing all these horrible things, may I suggest that you get down on your knees and thank God that you have a mother!
Sorry, Dawson, I forgot for a second. This isn't about me.
You know, it's just an ego thing. I mean, "How could there possibly have been anyone before me, you know, how can I measure up?"
I'm sure there's a measuring tape sitting in his bathroom right now.
What do you think it's marked up at?
Oh come on, do you think Dawson's got a pistol or a rifle?
...
Well I guess I'm no longer the virgin queen of Dawson Leery's handheld fantasies.
Yeah I think Dawson's having a life-defining turning point in his life right now.
You know, taking into consideration his height, weight, feet and hand size, I'd say he's slightly above average.
Oh, so you have thought about it.
Mr. Ryan used to say, "If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with a lot of rain."
I used to be a big fan of motion pictures. Frank Capra, It's a Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Pocketful of Miracles. Simple desires fulfilled, aspirations realized.
Fears of abandonment turned into fantasy spectacles of security and joy. Frank Capra and Steven Spielberg were often compared for their thematic content.
What I like most about those movies is the fact that no matter how far off the pedestal the character fell they always got a second chance. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has given us with it comes understanding.
Same way rain brings a rainbow.
From what I've seen of you so far, you better buy yourself a good umbrella.
I'm leaving, Dawson, um, but before I go there's--
No, no, hear me out, Dawson, please. Okay? Because this seems to be the day of truths, and I'm taking my turn. I lost my virginity when I was 12 to some older guy who got me drunk, I don't really remember his name but after the first pregnancy scare I went on the pill, and I used condoms most of the time, some of the times, I don't know, it's kind of blurry. I was really drinking a lot and having blackouts and stuff, um. I was sexualized way too young, and I don't wish that on anybody. I mean, sex at such a young age, more often than not, is a bad idea. I finally got caught having sex in my parents' bed. Daddy's little girl fornicating right before his very eyes. He still can't look me in the face but then again he shipped me 200 miles away so he wouldn't have to, but Dawson I'm not that girl anymore. I never really was, and I'm not that white-as-snow image you've got either, I'm somewhere in between and I'm just, I'm just trying to figure it out.
Jen. It's not you. It's my own stupid hangups. My parents have this raging sex life and I just, I secretly used it as their measure of happiness.
Well, sex doesn't equal happiness.
Yeah, I know. I know that now.
I'm sorry about lying to you, but I can't apologize for my past. I mean, I've learned from it, I'm a better person, it's gotten me here. And this is my chance to start over. It's my chance and it would be really nice if you'd be a part of that.
That you'll have me, Jen, because my behavior has been unredeemable and I don't deserve someone as impassionate and open and honest and beautiful as you are. [They hug] Take 2?
BBodie
Good morning sweetheart. And how are we feeling this morning?
Well, if you're nauseous and swollen and irritable also, I'd say we're feeling exactly the same way.
BBodie
Look at the bright side. Your due date's the 22nd. In less than a week this will all be over.
A week?! This can not last another week. It's inhumane. I don't sleep anymore, my legs are fat, my back is killing me, I feel like retching 23 hours a day... Did you know the average gestation period for the fruit bat is 2 months... 2 months, that's fair, that's reasonable. Why can't I give birth to a fruit bat?
Because we're about 80% sure you're human.
Feel free to keep on walking. I won't think you're rude.
Look, despite first impressions, I'm not here to bust on you. I don't know if the rumors are true or exaggerated. Or if this is one of your bizarre attempts to appear more attractive to the senior girls. But I just wanted to say I know what you must be going through, and...
[laughs] No. I really doubt you know what I'm going through.
Well let me see. People stare at you when you walk down the hall, we've seen that. They whisper behind your back. You suddenly overhear your name in a conversation of strangers. And pretty soon a justifiable paranoia sets in and whether they are or not, you are convinced that everyone is talking about you. Imagine if you had done something even worse.
Like sharing a house with your pregnant unwed sister and her black boyfriend, while your father serves time on a drug conviction. Imagine that, Pacey. We actually have something in common... Providing gossip for the small-minded townsfolk. And unfortunately for you, you're tonight's top story.
Great. So, what do I do now?
Same thing I did... You pray like hell for a better story to come along.
Gram's way of dealing with my point of view is pretending that it doesn't exist. Which, of course, infuriates me. It causes me to speak emotionally rather than rationally, and I become rude and defensive, and I...I give her even more of a reason to dismiss my viewpoints. Its like we're locked in this awful vicious cycle.
Well, I don't know. You gotta do something. You just can't ignore her for three years until you go away to college.
I can't? Oh, there goes plan A.
[grabs the phone] Listen, you sorry ass civil servant. This is the mother-to-be talking. Maybe I'm not in the tax bracket that guarantees a prompt response to medical distress, but I have a shoe full of amniotic fluid, my pelvis is beating like a rumba band, and I'm in real danger of having my first-born child delivered by two high school students. So, why don't you stop making excuses, get off your oversized backside and get us an ambulance before my fetus enters college?
Terrific. I'm sure they will be right on their way.
Look I don't mean any disrespect here. But, if you'll just give me a second, I'll have you all home for dinner. OK? Look, I know the origin of these rumors has been traced to me. And, ah I guess that would make sense. 'Cause look at me, here I am a C+ student, who sits in the back of Ms. Jacobs English class everyday, daydreaming about the same thing. About, what it would be like to be... a little bit better looking, a little more sophisticated and about 15 years older. 'Cause, then and only then, could Ms. Jacobs possibly look at me as anything other than just another one of her students. And, only then, could this rumor stand any chance of being true. Ah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I am flattered with the seriousness that you took these allegations, but you know personally I'd just chalked them up to adolescent fantasy. I kind of expected you guys to do the same.
SSSuperintendent Stevens
Correct me if I'm wrong Mr. Witter, but for the record, are you saying you deny the aforementioned allegations?
Yeah, for the record, sir. And for anywhere else you want to put it. Ms. Jacobs is my English teacher and to my great disappointment absolutely nothing else.
