Professor and Daria in “Unfinished Business”

Daria, I know it's only the first week of freshmen year, but I wonder if you'd consider transferring to the graduate school.

Daria

I'm not really sure I want to be a professional student.

But I don't want you to study. I want you to teach.

Daria

Well...

Not here, of course. On our Paris campus.

Daria

Oh! Okay.

Superb! Now I can use your dorm room to carry on affairs with some of the more beautiful undergraduates. Thank you!

Daria

How come even in my fantasies everyone's a jerk?