I have opened, Giibbbbaaayyy's!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(Carly, Freddie, and Spencer are hiding from Spencer's alarm robot)
We've got to get back to school!
We have a history test!
Can't you turn your stupid alarm bot off?
I am trying to disarm it!
ABAlarm Bot
(Spencer pushes a button on his remote) Armed. (He pushes it again) Armed. (He pushes it again) Armed.
Gah, I can't turn it off! Maybe we can-
(the doorbell rings)
Wait! That was just the doorbell, right?
Or does that mean your stupid killing machine's about to explode?
It was just the doorbell.
(from the other side of the door) Hello? What's happening in there?
It's my mom! If she opens the door, she's gonna get blasted!
(yelling) Mrs. Benson, don't open the door! I'm not wearing pants!
Oh, my gosh!
ABAlarm Bot
Scanning pants...
Wait!
What?
If your mom opens the door then that crazy killing machine's gonna focus on her, and then Spencer can run over and unplug it!
Oh, that's good!
No! I don't want my mom to get blasted in the face and torso with popcorn kernels!
Oh, why not?
She's so irritating! It'll just be for a second 'til I unplug it.
(sighs) Alright, fine! Do it!
(yelling) Okay, Mrs. Benson, I found my pants! C'mon in!
(Mrs. Benson opens the door and walks into the apartment)
What is going on in here?
ABAlarm Bot
(focuses on Mrs. Benson) Tracking intruder.
I do not appreciate all of the noise that's been coming from... AAH!
(the Alarm Bot starts shooting Mrs. Benson with popcorn kernels. She is backed up against her door in the hallway)
(to Spencer) GO!
Go unplug it!
Yeah, I'll go!
(Spencer runs over to the outlet where the Alarm Bot is plugged in to. He starts pulling at the plug, but it doesn't come out. Mrs. Benson shouts as the Alarm Bot continues to pelt her with popcorn kernels)
Hurry up!
Unplug it!
I AM TRYING! (Spencer pulls the outlit out of the wall, still not unplugging the Alarm Bot) Oh, my gosh!
Dude!
What?!
(Spencer still struggles with unplugging the Alarm Bot. Mrs. Benson keeps shouting as the Alarm Bot countinues to pelt her)
Get it out!
What's happening?! What am I being pelted with?!
(the Alarm Bot is beginning to run out of popcorn kernels. Spencer is still trying to unplug it)
What are you doing?
Come on!
(the Alarm Bot fires at Mrs. Benson a few more times before finally running out of popcorn kernels and stopping)
ABAlarm Bot
Empty.
(finally pulls the plug out of the outlet) GOT IT! (raises his arms victoriously in the air) YEAH!
[In a deep voice] Luke, I am your father.
[In a deep voice] Don't play around!
[In a deep voice] Why you so UPTIGHT?
[A little boy looks at Sam weirdly after hearing her deep voice]
[In a deep voice] Don't be afraid... I just wanna eat you!
[The little boy screams and runs away]
[Gibby takes off the purple robot head from Freddie]
This is the WORST party ever.
[feeling ashamed] Dude, I am so sorry. I didn't know you--
[yells at Spencer] TWENTY TIMES?! You had to slam me twenty times?!
[gives Freddie a pink stuffed unicorn] Here.
[Freddie hits Spencer with pink stuffed unicorn in anger for dropping him the Jerk Basket]
Why?!
'Cause! You iCarlys were supposed to help me regain my popularity after the bread and butter pickle incident with that little girl, and you failed!
No, we didn't fail!
We did help you!
It's not our fault that afterwards and you went screamed at some dude in a wheelchair!
He rolled over my foot and scratched my loafers!
Well, who gives a rat's--
[interrupting Sam] Sam.
What?! Don't you think--
Stop! Stop. [sighs] He's right.
What?!
Carly?
Are you kidding me?!
NO! After that video went viral of Nevel screaming at that man in a wheelchair... we should've done something to help him.
Why should've we helped him?
It's our fault!
So, I was thinking to close the show, instead of random dancing...
Yeah.
...we can try random scratching, and then maybe Freddie could-
Hey! Ohhh, done! Whoo! [Sam and Carly just look at Spencer without saying anything] I say, it's done! Woooooo! [Sam and Carly still don't say anything] C'mon, ask me about it!
We can see, you made a snowman!
Uhhh, it's a snowwoman, duh. Can't you see her snowbahoobies? That's how you know that it's a- [a snowboob falls off] Dang it! Ah, I can fix that, wait. Urgh!
[Elevator opens and Gibby comes out of it]
Hey hey, guess what. I started using deodorant. [Everyone looks at him oddly] But I can't decide which scent I like best, so under my right arm I used Ocean Breeze... [Sam quickly gets out of her chair away from Gibby] ...and under my left I used Summer Swagger. Carly, c'mon. Which one smells best?..
Gibby, no no, Gibby no... [tries to get Gibby to stop him from making her smell his underarms]
[Gibby forces Carly's head under his underarm]
Alright, that's the Ocean Breeze.
[Carly keeps trying to escape]
I'd stop this if it wasn't hilarious.
[Carly is finally free]
Now smell the left, let's go. [Carly is forced under his other pit and keeps trying to escape again] Okay, that's the Summer Swagger. Breathe it in deep. [Carly's free again] So which one you like best?
Probably the Ocean Breeze.
I knew it! Hey, is that a snowlady?
Straight up!
I think one of her bahoobies might've--
Yeah, I know about it!
Okay.
Hello, good people, and Sam!
Hey.
What up with the fruit bowl, fruit bowl?
I just thought you guys might like some pears, Pear for you, [to Carly] pear for you, [to Spencer] pear for you. [to Gibby]
I'm wearing deodorant.
So, why the pears?
'Cause this Freddie just got himself a job working at the Pear Store.
Cool!
You're selling computers?
Yep! Ipears, Pear Phones, Pear Pads, Pear-port Extremes, and all other Pear related products and accessories.
I love products and accessories.
Do we get a discount?
I do. You do not.
Hey, Gib... Why don't you see which deodorant Freddie likes best?
Ooh, Yeah!
What do you mean which deodorant I like best? [Gibby grabs him] Oh! Gibby.
Oh, all right, Okay.
Gibby.
Just breathe in... Come on breathe, Gibby.
There! I fixed her. And check this out. Her nose lights up. [His sculpture sets on fire] No!
Ah!
(Screaming) What?! [Smoke alarm beeps] Aw!
I'll call the Fire Department.
I'll disable the smoke alarm.
Aw!
Uh, Chief Donker...
CDChief Donker
Don't talk to me!
I tried so hard to put the fire out myself, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger and... [Chief Donker pushes him down] What are you doing? Why are you... You're pushing me... I... Oh... What is he... Ah! I see it. Okay.
Chief Donker, we really appreciate you coming here. Again.
CDChief Donker
Thanks. You're a nice girl. I'll miss you.
Yeah, well-wait. What do you mean you'll miss me?
CDChief Donker
I mean, the Fire Department is done with you people.
(tries to get up) Done? I don't understan-
CDChief Donker
GET BACK DOWN! (he does)
Ah!
Um, can you explain...
CDChief Donker
Do you know how many times your brother has accidentally started fires?
I don't know. Many.
FFireman
18!
17!
CDChief Donker
What about this one?!
Oh, yeah, 18, if you count this one.
CDChief Donker
Come on everybody, we're done here.
But--
CDChief Donker
Forever.
But you're the Fire Department, You can't not come here if we have a fire!
CDChief Donker
You watch us not come here.
No, but... Would you... No just please, what... I'm an honor student! [Chief Donker slams the door. Carly gets upset at Spencer when he tries to get up again] Get back down!
Aw!
Can you help me? No one else is available.
TTrey
Sure.
Awesome.
So. [Lightly turns his head towards her] Sooo. [Trying to be flirty]
TTrey
Yeah?
What'cha doing tomorrow night?
TTrey
There's a Doctor Who marathon on TV.
And?
TTrey
I'm gonna watch it?
Oh. Well, I wouldn't mind watching a little Doctor Foo.
TTrey
Who.
Me.
TTrey
No, Doctor Who.
I dunno, you brought it up.
TTrey
I'm confused.
Well, maybe that's cuz you don't have a girlfriend. [Does weird hand movements]
[Goes up to Freddie] Dude, hey.
What's up?
I have been talking to that nerdy, cute salesboy for 20 minutes and he has no clue that I am flirting with him; and I've been flirting my butt off.
What do you want me to do about it?
You're a nerd, give me advice.
I will not help you flirt with some- [notices Sam in her new uniform] Ahh. [Shocked] What is?!-
Momma got a job.
[Freddie looks at her in shock]
So, see anything wrong with it?
TTrey
I'm not sure yet.
Kay, well keep checking. I really need that laptop fixed. Specially since I have no boyfriend. And nothing to do tomorrow night. [puts on lip gloss]
TTrey
Hey.
Yeah?!
TTrey
Did you get the extended warranty?
I don't know!
Okay, listen.
TTrey
What's up?
I think you're cute and you're obviously smart and you seem harmless, so I'd like to hang out with you, unless you think I'm disgusting or something.
TTrey
Oh no, I didn't realize. I'm just really shy with girls.
Maybe we can fix that, aye? Aye?
TTrey
Huh?
Just come over to my place tomorrow night. We'll watch your Doctor Foo show or Battle Star Ceneticat, whatever you want.
TTrey
Okay.
Thank you.
Sam's my boss now?!
NNatalie
Yep.
Back to work, Fredbag.
No. This is wrong! I am a computer expert! I know SO MUCH!
We sorta dated for a while.
She? She is LAZY, and a CRIMINAL, and a nuisance, and she has TERRIBLE table manners!
He's still in love with me. It's kinda sad.
And if you think that she is a good employee who deserves to be MY BOSS, then YOU my friend are a TERRIBLE MANAGER and you don't deserve to have me work here!
NNatalie
Okay, you're fired.
But- how-- Fine. I'll leave. But I am keeping this Pear store shirt.
NNatalie
Kevin, get the shirt.
Kevin, come on, you're my friend.... Kevin! Kevin, I shared my sandwich with you one time! Kevin! ...This isn't over!
NNatalie
Why? What's left?
...Nothing, it's over. [walks off]
[runs after him] Dude! ...Don't you think you were a little rough on him?
NNatalie
...Nah, who cares.
Yeah. ...I'll be right back.
NNatalie
I'll never see you again, will I?
Nope.
[looking at her PearPhone and pacing around] Uh, Freddie said he was almost done three hours ago. Why isn't he back with the... [looks at Sam filling butter in her buttersock] What is that?
I'm changing the butter in my butter sock.
Oh. [points to the plate on the counter] What's this green stuff?
The old butter.
[looking disgusted] Awhh! Why can't you take that outside... or?
[Sam shrugs]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.