If I may, nephew, I encountered a situation with one of my lieutenants at the Stone Mill which may have some bearing-
Why don't you shut your mouth about that damned mill? And don't call him "nephew." He is your king.
Robb knows I meant him no disr-
You're lucky I'm not your king. I wouldn't let you wave your blunders around like a victory flag.
My blunder sent Tywin's mad dog scurrying back to Casterly Rock with his tail between his legs. I think King Robb understands we're not gonna win this war if he's the only one winning any battles. No, there's glory enough to go around.
It's not about glory. Your instructions were to wait for him to come to you.
The Mountain was garrisoned across the river from it.
Of course not. We took the fight to him. He could not withstand us.
I wanted to draw the Mountain into the west, into our country where we could surround him and kill him. I wanted him to chase us, which he would have done because he is a mad dog without a strategic thought in his head. I could have that head on a spike by now. Instead, I have a mill.
We took hostages. Willem Lannister. Martyn Lannister.
Willem and Martyn Lannister are 14 years old.
Tywin Lannister has my sisters. Have I sued for peace?
Do you think he'll sue for peace because we have his... [frowns as he tries to work it out in his head] Father's brother's great-grandsons?
How many men did you lose?
208. But for every man we lost, the Lannisters--
We need our men more than Tywin needs his!
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
You would have. Right here today at this gathering if you had been patient.
We seem to be running short of patience here.
You know who isn't? Tywin Lannister.
What news of Jaime? [All the others remain silent] Twenty thousand unwashed Northerners have known about his escape for weeks. Collectively, you control more spies and informants than the rest of the world combined. Do you mean to tell me that none of you has any notion where he is?
Try harder! What do we have then?
Robb Stark and most of his bannermen are in Riverrun for the funeral of his grandfather, Lord Hoster Tully. In Stark's absence, Roose Bolton holds Harrenhal, which would make him Lord of Harrenhal, in practice if not in name-
Let him have it. The name suits our purposes far more than that useless pile of rubble. The Lord of Harrenhal will make a worthy suitor for the widow Arryn.
For which I am extremely grateful to you, my lord. Lady Arryn and I have known each other since we were children; she has always been positively predisposed towards me.
A successful courtship would make Lord Baelish Acting Lord of the Vale.
Titles do seem to breed titles.
You'll leave for the Eyrie as soon as possible and bring Lysa Arryn into the fold, then the Young Wolf can add his own aunt to the list of people who've taken up arms against him!
Far be it from me to hinder true love, but Lord Baelish's absence would present certain problems. The royal wedding may end up being the most expensive event in living memory. Summer had ended, hard days lie ahead, not a good time to leave the crown's finances unattended.
Fully agreed, which is why I am naming you Master of Coin.
It would appear to be a position that best suits your talents.
I'm quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn't taught me about managing it!
I have no doubt you will prove equal to this challenge.
After thirty years of fighting, I... I think he'd forgotten what started' it! He asked me to stop calling myself "Blackfish". Said it was an old joke, and it was never funny to begin with. I told him, "People have been calling me 'Blackfish' for so long, I don't remember my real name!"
Every time he left for the Capitol, or to fight in a campaign, I'd see him off. "Wait for me, Little Cat" he'd say, "Wait for me and I'll come back to you." And I would sit at this window every day when the sun came up, waiting. I wonder how many times did Bran and Rickon stare across the moors of Winterfell, waiting for me to return?! I will never see them again!
You musn't think it. We don't know it. They could be in hiding. Robb believes they're alive. And, he must go on believing. He's got to remain strong if he's going to prevail, and you must remain strong for him.
When your brother Rhaegar led his army into battle at the Trident, men died for him because they believed in him, because they loved him, not because they'd been bought at a slaver's auction. I fought beside the last dragon on that day, your Grace. I bled beside him.
Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly...and Rhaegar died.
Did you know him well, Ser Barristan?
I did, your Grace. The finest man I ever met.
I wish I had known him...but he was not the last dragon.
LLocke
You think you're the smartest man there is. That everyone alive has to bow and scrape and lick your boots.
LLocke
You get in any trouble, all you got to do is say "My father" and that's it. All your troubles are gone. Have you got something to say? You don't want to say the wrong thing. You're nothing without your daddy, and your daddy ain't here. Never forget that.
[Locke rises, but then stops]
LLocke
Here, this should help you remember!
[He swings the blade down, cleaving off Jaime's hand, and Jaime screams in horror and agony]
Before all this nastiness, I was going to tell you the story of how I was cut. Do you want to hear it still?
As a boy, in Myr, I traveled with a troupe of actors through the Free Cities. One day, a man approached my master with an offer too tempting to refuse. I feared the man meant to use me, as I'd heard some men use small boys, but what he wanted was far worse. He gave me a potion that made me powerless to move or speak, yet did nothing to dull my senses. With a hooked blade, he sliced me, root and stem, chanting all the while. He burned my parts on a brazier; the flames burned blue, and I heard a voice answer his call. Still dream of that night. Not of the sorcerer, not of his blade...I dream of the voice. Was it a god? A demon? Some conjurer's trick? I don't know, but the sorcerer called and a voice answered. And ever since that day, I have hated magic, and all who practice it. But, you can see why I was eager to aid in your fight against Stannis and his Red Priestess, a symbolic revenge, of sorts.
Yes, I feel the need for actual revenge. Against the actual person who tried to have me killed, which will require a certain degree of influence, which...
You do not possess at the moment. But influence is largely a matter of patience, I find. Once I had served the sorcerer's purpose, he threw me out of his house, to die. I resolved to live, to spite him. I begged, I sold what parts of my body remained to me, I became an excellent thief. And soon, learned that the contents of a man's letters are more valuable than the contents of his purse. Step by step, one distasteful task after another, I made my way from the slums of Myr to the Small Council Chamber. Influence grows, like a weed. I tended mine, patiently, until its tendrils reached from the Red Keep, all the way across to the far side of the world where I managed to wrap them around something very special.
[He pulls the crate lid open; Tyrion looks inside with him to find a ragged old man, bound and gagged.]
Hello, my old friend. It's been a long time. I have no doubt, the revenge you want will be yours in time if you have the stomach for it.
[He closes the crate on the sorcerer, who is screaming through the gag]
You wanted to speak to me?
I wanted to make sure we're doing whatever we can to get him back.
When Catelyn Stark took Tyrion prisoner, what did I do in response?
And if I would start a war for that lecherous little stump, what do you think I am doing for my eldest son and heir?
[He puts a seal on the letter, pushes it aside, and starts working on another letter.]
Did it ever occur to you that I might be the one who deserves your confidence and your trust, not your sons? Not Jaime or Tyrion, but me? Years and years of lectures on family and legacy, same lecture, really, just with tiny, tedious variations. Did it ever occur to you that your daughter might be the only one listening to them, living by them? That she might have the most to contribute to your legacy that you love so much more than your actual children?
[Tywin finishes his letter, and looks over his daughter with his hands folded.]
The Tyrells are a problem.
The Tyrells helped us defeat Stannis Baratheon. The Tyrells helped save your life, and your children's lives.
Margaery has her claws into Joffrey. She knows how to manipulate him.
Good. I wish you knew how to manipulate him. I don't distrust you because you're a woman. I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed that boy to ride roughshod over you and everyone else in this city.
Perhaps you should try stopping him from doing what he likes.
CCraster
You have one son, don't you, Mormont? I had my 99th. You ever meet a man with 99 sons?
[Mormont shakes his head indifferently.]
CCraster
And more daughters than I can count.
JMJeor Mormont
I'm glad for you.
CCraster
Are you now? Me, I'll be glad when you and yours have gone.
JMJeor Mormont
As soon as our wounded are strong enough.
CCraster
Ah. They're as strong as they're gonna get. Them that's dying, why don't you cut their throats and be done with it? Or leave them if you've not the stomach, and I'll sort them myself.
KTKarl Tanner
Whose throat you gonna cut, old man?
JMJeor Mormont
Wait outside.
KTKarl Tanner
It's cold outside, and there's nothing to eat.
CCraster
My wives gave you bread.
KTKarl Tanner
There's sawdust in the bread.
CCraster
You don't like it, you go out there and eat the snow.
KTKarl Tanner
I'd rather eat what you've got hidden away.
JMJeor Mormont
I told you to wait outside.
RRast
He's sitting there, drinking our wine, eating his fill while we die!
CCraster
I gave you crows enough. I've got to feed my women!
RRast
So you admit you've got a hidden larder, then?! How else'd you make it through winter?!
JMJeor Mormont
Enough! Out!
CCraster
I am a godly man!
RRast
You're a stingy bastard!
CCraster
Bastard? [Craster takes an axe off the wall] Out with you, you little thief! [To Karl] And you! [To Eddison Tollett] And you! [Craster looks threateningly at everyone] Go sleep in the cold on empty bellies! I'll chop the hands off the next man who calls me bastard!
[There is a tense silence. Mormont starts to push Rast out]
KTKarl Tanner
You are a bastard. A daughter-fucking, wildling bastard.
[Craster charges at Karl, but Karl shoves his dagger through Craster's jaw]
JMJeor Mormont
The gods will curse us for this! By all the laws...
KTKarl Tanner
There are no laws beyond the Wall!
[Karl grabs the woman he struck and puts his dagger at her throat.]
KTKarl Tanner
Now show us where he hides the food, or you'll get the same as he did!
JMJeor Mormont
[draws his sword] Unhand her!
[Karl lets go of the woman and faces Mormont with his dagger]
JMJeor Mormont
I shall have your head for this...!
[Rast stabs Mormont in the back. A large brawl breaks out, in which Mormont is killed]
[to Gilly] Quickly. Quickly.
GGilly
What's happening? I'm not going out there.
[The baby cries. Gilly picks him. They go outside.]
GGilly
Follow me. I know the best way. Come on.
[Rast shouts after Sam.]
RRast
Run fast, Piggy, and sleep well! I'll be cutting your throat one of these nights!
It took five of you to murder two unarmed squires?
Not murder, Your Grace. Vengeance.
Vengeance? Those boys didn't kill your sons. I saw Harrion die on the battlefield, and Torrhen...
Was strangled by the Kingslayer. They were his kin.
THEY WERE BOYS! Look at them.
Tell your mother to look at them. She killed them as much as I.
My mother had nothing to do with this. This was your treason.
It's treason to free your enemies! In war, you kill your enemies! Did your father not teach you that, boy?!
[Brynden Tully punches Karstark in the face]
Aye. Leave me to the king. He wants to give me a scolding before he sets me free. That's how he deals with treason. Our King in the North. Or should I call him the King Who Lost the North?
Escort Lord Karstark to the dungeon. Hang the rest.
KSKarstark soldier
Mercy, sire! I didn't kill anyone, I only watched for the guards.
This one was only the watcher. Hang him last so he can watch the others die.
KSKarstark soldier
Please! Please don't, they made me do it! They made me! They made me...!
[The prisoners are dragged out; Robb sits at his desk, contemplating what to do about Karstark.]
Word of this can't leave Riverrun. They were Tywin Lannister's nephews; the Lannisters pay their debts - they never stop talking about that.
Would you make me a liar as well as a murderer?
It wouldn't be lying. We'll bury them and remain silent until the war is done.
I'm not fighting for justice if I don't serve justice to murderers in my ranks, no matter how highborn! He has to die.
The Karstarks are Northmen. They won't forgive the killing of their Lord.
Your mother's right. If you do this, the Karstarks will abandon you.
You tended to their wounds, you brought them supper. Now they're dead.
And more boys will keep dying until this war is over! You need Karstark men to end it!
Spare his life, keep him as a hostage.
A hostage. Tell the Karstarks that as long as they remain loyal, he will not be harmed.
The blood of the First Men flows in my veins as much as yours, boy. I fought the Mad King for your father. I fought Joffrey for you. We are kin, Stark and Karstark.
That didn't stop you from betraying me, and it won't save you now.
I don't want it to save me. I want it to haunt you to the end of your days!
[Karstark kneels across a stone hedgerow, and calmly awaits his execution.]
Rickard Karstark, Lord of Karhold, here in sight of Gods and men, I sentence you to die. Would you speak a final word?
Kill me and be cursed! You are no King of mine!
[Robb angrily beheads Lord Karstark with a single blow.]
[Robb surveys his map, which displays the Stark forces nearly encircled by the Greyjoy and Tyrell/Lannister forces.]
You were right. the Karstarks are gone. Almost half our forces. Tywin Lannister knows what he needs to do, to make us unravel. Nothing. Only wait.
What can I do? Attack King's Landing? There's nothing he'd like better. He'd crush us in a day.
You could ride North, take your lands back from the Greyjoys. Wait out the winter.
Winter could last five years. Once my bannermen are home again, sitting by the fire, surrounded by their families, warm and safe, they'll never ride south again. When I gathered my Lords together, we had a purpose, a mission. Now, we're like a band of bickering children!
If I faint, pull me out. I don't intend to be the first Lannister to die in a bathtub.
Why should I care how you die?
You swore a solemn vow, remember? You're supposed to get me to King's Landing in one piece. [Nods to his severed hand] Not going so well, is it? No wonder Renly died with you guarding him. [Brienne stands up with contempt] That was unworthy. Forgive me. You protected me better than most.
I'm apologizing. I'm sick of fighting. Let's call a truce.
You need trust to have a truce.
I trust you. [Brienne sits back down] There it is. There's the look. I've seen it for 17 years on face after face. You all despise me. Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, man without honor. You've heard of wildfire?
The Mad King was obsessed with it. He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened and blistered and melted off their bones. He burned lords he didn't like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. He burned anyone who was against him. Before long, half the country was against him. Aerys saw traitors everywhere. So he had his pyromancer place caches of wildfire all over the city. Beneath the Sept of Baelor and the slums of Flea Bottom. Under houses, stables, taverns. Even beneath the Red Keep itself. Finally, the day of reckoning came. Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident. But my father arrived first with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels. I knew my father better than that. He's never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. I urged him to surrender peacefully. But the king didn't listen to me. He didn't listen to Varys who tried to warn him. But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey, sunken cunt. "You can trust the Lannisters," he said. "The Lannisters have always been true friends of the crown." So we opened the gates and my father sacked the city. Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender. He told me to... bring him my father's head. Then he... turned to his pyromancer. "Burn them all," he said. "Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds." Tell me, if your precious Renly commanded you to kill your own father and stand by while thousands of men, women, and children burned alive, would you have done it? Would you have kept your oath then? [Brienne stares at him in stunned silence.] First, I killed the pyromancer. And then when the king turned to flee, I drove my sword into his back. "Burn them all," he kept saying. "Burn them all." I don't think he expected to die. He, he meant to... burn with the rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash. I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen. That's where Ned Stark found me.
If this is true... why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell Lord Stark?
Stark? You think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side? He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me. By what right does the wolf judge the lion? By what right-- [collapses, Brienne supports him]
Help! Help! The Kingslayer!
[as Brienne and Jaime dine with him] I see my men have finally found you something appropriate to wear.
Yes, most kind of the. You're a Stark bannerman, Lord Bolton. I'm acting on Lady Stark's orders to return Jaime Lannister to King's Landing.
When King Robb left Harrenhall, his mother was his prisoner. If she wasn't his mother, he'd have hanged her for treason. I should send you back to Robb Stark.
You should. But instead, you're sitting here, watching me fail at dinner. Why might that be?
Wars cost money. Many people would pay a great deal for you.
We both know who would pay the most. He'll make you pay the most, if he found out you'd captured me and sent me back up North for a summary execution.
You're right. Perhaps, the safest course is to kill you both and burn your bodies.
It would be, if you honestly believe my father would never find out about it.
King Robb is keeping your father quite busy. He doesn't have time for anything else.
As soon as you're well enough to travel, I will allow you to go to King's Landing as restitution for the mistakes my soldiers made. And you will swear to tell your father the truth. That I had nothing to do with your maiming.
You do understand how suspicious that is to ordinary people? Very well. My lady, may our journey continue without further incident.
Oh, she won't be going with you.
I am charged with bringing Ser Jaime to-
You are charged with abetting treason.
I'm afraid I must insist...
You're in no place to insist on anything. I would've hoped you'd learned your lesson about overplaying your...position.
[about the prospect of Loras marrying Cersei] Impossible
My grandson is the pride of Highgarden, the most desirable bachelor in the whole Seven Kingdoms! Your daughter...
Is rich, the most beautiful woman in the whole Seven Kingdoms, and the mother of the king.
Old. I'm something of an expert on the subject. Her change will be upon her before long. I'll spare you the details of what will happen then. You men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter entirely.
Oh, the years punish us as well, I promise you that. My stomach remains quite strong, however. The only thing that might turn it are details of your grandson's... nocturnal activities. Do you deny them?
Oh, not at all! A sword-swallower, through and through.
Well, a boy with his affliction should be grateful for the opportunity to marry the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms, and remove the stain from his name.
Did you grow up with boy cousins, Lord Tywin? Sons of your father's bannermen, squires, stableboys?
Not once? Not in any way?
I congratulate you on your restraint! But, it's a natural enough thing, two boys having a go at each other beneath the sheets.
Perhaps Highgarden has a high tolerance for unnatural behavior.
I wouldn't say that. True, we don't tie ourselves into knots over a discreet bit of buggery, but... brothers and sisters... where I come from, that stain would be very difficult to wash out.
I will not breathe further life into a malicious lie by discussing it.
Lie or not, you must admit that many people find it quite convincing. Convincing enough to put swords in their hands and send them off to kill Lannisters and Tyrells, thanks to our new affiliation.
I don't care what people believe, and neither do you.
As an authority on myself, I must disagree!
Now, if the rumors about my children were true, then Joffrey is no King at all and House Tyrell is throwing it's prize flower into the dirt.
And if Cersei is too old to give Loras children, we are throwing another "prize flower" into the dirt. It is a chance we simply cannot take!
The uncertainty makes you uncomfortable? All right, I'll remove it for you. If you refuse to marry Loras to Cersei, I will name him to the Kingsguard. And, I'm sure you're familiar with the Kingsguard's vows. He will never marry, he will never have children, the Tyrell name will fade and Highgarden will go to the children of Joffrey and Margaery.
You would have your grandson protected by someone who disgusts you?
I would have my grandson protected by a skilled warrior who takes his vows seriously. So shall I draw up the order or do you consent to this match?
It's a rare enough thing- a man who lives up to his reputation. [plucks the quill from Tywin's fingers and snaps it in half]
[about The Wall] Have you ever climbed it before?
No, but Tormund's done it half a hundred times. You're afraid.
Aye. Well, it's a long way up, and a long way down, but... I've waited my whole life to see the world from up there. [she pulls out a set of climbing spikes] Here, sit down, brought a pair for you. They're too big for you, but they're good.
You kill someone for them?
Nah. I didn't kill him, but I bet his balls are still bruised. He wasn't good to me, the way you're good to me. And he didn't do that thing you do with your tongue.
Hey, can we not talk about that here?
"Can we not talk about that here? I'm Jon Snow. I've killed dead men and Qhorin Halfhand, but I'm scared of naked girls!"
Did I seem scared the other day?
[laughs] Oh, you were tremblin' like a leaf.
Only in the beginning. You're a proper lover, Jon Snow. And, don't worry, your secret's safe with me.
D'you think I'm as dumb as all those girls in silk dresses you knew growing up? You're loyal, and you're brave...You didn't stop being a Crow, the day you walked into Mance Rayder's tent. But I'm your woman now, Jon Snow. You're goin' to be loyal to your woman. The Night's Watch don't care if you live or die. Mance Rayder don't care if I live or die. We're just soldiers in their armies, and there's plenty more to carry on if we go down. But it's you and me that matters. Me and you. Don't ever betray me.
Because, I'll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it 'round me neck.
[walks up] Sink your metal deep and make sure it holds, before taking your next step. And, if you fall, don't scream. You don't want that to be the last thing she remembers, eh?
