Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I was never meant to be used as a hedge trimmer, a drain cleaner or a depilatory aid! I was meant to carve a swath of despair and destruction through the world of men, to blacken the skies and redden the seas, leaving nothing behind but entropy and uncomfortable silence...
Yeah, yeah, be quiet. One of these guys is gonna win a million bucks for milking a goat with his mouth!
Wait a second. What kind of breakfast cereal comes with a phoenix inside?
Well, it says here it's made in Arizona.
You'll have to use your feminine wiles to get him to talk.
[groans] I hate Billy.
[furious] Thud! THUD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
[nervous] Having some cereal.
And what have I said about having some cereal in the boardroom!?
Uhhh?
[spraying Thud with spray bottle] Bad Thud!
[Thud backs away in terror while Grim and Mandy look on, weirded out]
No, no!
[Thud, in a panic, drops the cereal bowl and Mandy picks up a piece while Eris threatens him with the spray bottle]
[begging] No, please, no!
Hey, Eris!
[whips head around] What!?
You got a piece of food stuck between your teeth.
[looks down at her teeth] No, I don't...
[Mandy flings an AppleScrap into the gap in Eris's front top row of teeth.]
You do now.
Eris [startled] What in the... [the firebird comes of Billy's head and latches onto Eris']
[trying to be nice] Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I [frustrated grunt] know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?
If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.
[He blows tiny gum bubbles]
[speaking rapidly] But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and UNABRIDGED'!
We're here to see Mrs. Fingerwiggle.
Pollywinkle.
Hairyankle!
Pollywinkle!
Terrytingle?
Pollywinkle.
Molly Ringwald!
Pollywinkle! Oh, forget it!
I'm no quitter... and I'm NOT girly... I'm a ballet dancer!
No one steals Billy's soul. That wasn't in the school curriculum.
Oh, yes it was. It was on the first page of the brochure in bright red letters.
Yeah, but you didn't count on one thing: I can't read!
What's going on up there? The whole place is falling apart.
Yet another school that Billy's ruined.
[Why Grim talks to a bush]
Maybe he's apologizing for peeing on it for such a long time.
[After Grim's plan disasterously fails at the end.]
The road to stupid is paved with good intentions.
Uh, excuse me, sir? Do you have time for an informal survey? What do you think is more frightening, these three scary monsters... [Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolf Man make scary noises] ...or this glass of water?
Water! Eh, eh, WATER!
Look, man, I'll give you five bucks. Five bucks! If you say those monsters are scarier than the water.
Dracula thirsty. Gonna drink this water.
[to Dracula] Dracula, please don't!
You can't tell Dracula what to do! Dracula a grown man. Do what he wants!
Can I please go now?
Wolfman swallowed a squirrel whole. Dracula told him to chew, but no one listens to Dracula!
Scurvy Prevention Week; Let's all agree with vitamin C!
Mindy, beauty pageants are ridiculous contests for ridiculous girls.
Oh, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Man-deeeee. You ugly people are so predictable. But since you were born hideous and beast-like, it's not my place to judge.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
