[scanning Billy] Just as I suspected. His brain is caught in a weird juju vortex, and his good luck matrix is in the red. This could only mean one thing: Catastrophe Snail!
It must have been in that restaurant when Billy spilled the salt. I told him to throw salt over his shoulder to PREVENT bad luck, but Billy panicked. He reached for the salt, but he grabbed the pepper. That's when the snail must have appeared on Billy's shoulder. Salt would've have fizzled that slimeball, but Billy threw pepper. And at that time, the whole place was sneezing. So, that snail slipped right into Billy's ear with nobody noticing a ting. Once the Catastrophe Snail gets in your head, he plugs his shell right into brain. And once he's plugged in, mon, he'll be reprogramming your mind to have nothing but bad luck only. Dig it?
How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would.
[high-pitched, feminine voice] I'm very pretty! Look at me! I'm QUEEN pretty! Aren't boys just so dreamy? I can talk on the phone for hours about nothing!
["welcoming" General Skarr to the neighbourhood, shouting] CUUURSED! CUUURSES! Woe to all who live in that house, for they shall only know PAIN! PAIN! [calmly] Oh, and welcome to the neighbourhood. Here's some nice jellatin the wife made. It's got bits of fruit and stuff. [awkward pause] OK, well, bye. [he leaves, and shouts offscreen] CUUURSES!
[fondly] Miss commanding regimented forces of destructive power? As we encircle the globe with our terrible iron fists of might? [raising his voice and slowly becoming more maniacal]Crushing down all the pathetic fools who dared stand before us? Gorging our bellies on their cries for mercy, until at last, I ALONE STAND AS THE GLORIOUS DARK LORDOF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE?!!!![gasps for breath before suddenly calming down] Not at all. Don't miss it.
