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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 4806 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

Jonas Venture Jr.

But we're the Venture Brothers! Shouldn't we work together?

VDr. Venture

Unh. What does it take to get rid of you, you parasite? Tweezers and a match? I give you life, I give you half my stuff, I gave you the X2 for God's sake, what more do you want?! My blood? Here! Take it! Take my blood! [bends over, pointing his rear towards Jonas Jr.] or better yet, just climb right on back inside me! [pats rear] Go on! Jump back in there! Come on!

Jonas Venture Jr.

[sighs] Fine. Never mind. Just let me get my stuff from the lab and I'll go.

VDr. Venture

'The lab'? Try my lab.

Jonas Venture Jr.

Mine, yours. What's the difference? We're the Venture Brothers! What's mine is yours.

VDr. Venture

Yeah, yeah. You're very generous with my things.

YHYoung Hector

This Aztec calendar says today is your lucky day!

Hey! Hey! What the f.. Are you raping me?!

No... well, I was gonna.

Gonna?! What the fuck, King?!

I couldn't get it up.

AGH! [Holds hands to ears] Lalalalalalala...

You're built too much like a girl! I couldn't get into it.

[stops 'la' -ing] What... What a... this isn't even my cell! What'd you do, take me to your place?

Well I got porn here... it helps.

AAGH! [Puts hands back to ears as he leaves the cell] Lalalalalalala...

But I am, by trade, a necromancer! You know what that means, right?

Uhh, you have sex with dead people?

phile! Necrophile! A necroMANCER can bring the dead TO LIFE!!

(on whether he actually saw the boys) Saw them!? I made them a fucking MILKSHAKE!

(asked to put the immature clones back into their "incubators") I hate touching them, they feel like giant Stretch Armstrongs.

Look, if you have a clumsy child, you make him wear a helmet. If you have death-prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab.

Dr. Orpheus (talking to Triana about raising the dead): Stop crying, pumpkin. I've done this hundreds of times. David Blaine,Evel Knievel, both daddy's clients. As was Ronald Reagan, until he bounced a check.

[To Half-Formed Corpse] Hank! You are never to call your father a crumb-bum in front of company!

No shower for Byron Orpheus!

(to Triana) Now don't touch any of this. You could accidentally make the cat huge...or something.

You and your Guild can go screw. Ten years of payin' dues and what do they do to keep me out of here when I got caught!?!

Oh, what could we do? You eviscerated and sodomized Vince Neil on national television.

Hey, I only sodomized half of him! They wanted The Surreal Life, K.G. GAVE it to 'em!

Slow down. What about the zombies?

Oh, I call those "clone slugs" — grew those years ago from nail clippings, I think. Anyway, after the slugs have been activated, that machine...

Purgatory.

Whatever. That computer feeds all their nocturnally recorded memory synapses.

Their memories, hopes, and dreams. Their immortal souls!

You're killing me with that crap; just let me finish. That computer feeds synaptic data to their incubation beds; that information is supplemented with basic knowledge that my dad recorded for me so I didn't have to go to school; and that is why I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24.

That is awful!

Well, you didn't see her. It was horrific.

Who is your grief counselor? Mother Teresa? How can you be so nonchalant about this? My stupid talismans and I have made movie monsters from your sons!

Et tu, King Gorilla?

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