Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I'll be sleeping in a room right next to Triana. And then she'll hear, like, thunder or something, and she'll run into my room all scared and stuff. And I'll be like, "Hush, my darling. It's just ionized air molecules expanding." And she'll be like, "Oh, hold me." And then I'll, like...
Dude! If we stay here, that means that we'll be Dr. Orpheus's kids. And that means Triana will be your sister. And that means you two will have extra-retard babies.
Pumpkin, get me my cloak!
Why don't you wear the ...
Alright fine. GET ME MY BLUE WINDBREAKER!
What can I get you?
Well, you see, I made this purchase of a homeboy from your vending machine.
Consider this your final warning. You do not know the risk you are taking. For a whisper from my lips could open your mind to a world of arcane tortures!
You're probably wondering why you're here, YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU DONE FUCKED UP TOO MANY TIMES! You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup! And if you keep like you've been doin', this is where heading.
(snickering)
Oh, that's funny to you right? Cause you so fuckin bad? I know your type. You think, "I'll just get me a costume and rip off the neighborhood kids." Next thing you know you've got a jet shaped like a skull with lasers on the front.
This is totally gay.
What?! You think this is gay, huh? Is that what you fucking said, you scrawny piece of shit? Oh, this isn't gay! But King Gorilla over there is, and I'll bet he can't wait to break off a piece of your dick in his ass! (King Gorilla makes kissing lips)
You - get up! I SAID GET THE FUCK UP! What's your name?
Dean Ven...
YOUR NAME IS BITCH! And I own you. YOU'RE PROPERTY! And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole God drilled in your slender frame - King Gorilla, you got a cigarette? There, I just sold you for a cigarette, and I don't smoke! (pause) Holy shit, you're Dean fucking Venture! King, I gotta buy my bitch back, here's your cigarette.
Fuck you, gimme a dollar!
What the fuck are you boys doing in the big house?
Well, our dad had a baby, so we ran away.
And then we got arrested for not speeding enough.
You shouldn't even be alive!
Huh?
I put out a hit on you. Super sorry. But, you know, I'm in mother-fucking prison here. My life is fucked.
You boys don't wanna end up in here, this place is full of fucking animals. (Hank opens his mouth) I don't mean King Gorilla, Hank. I mean this place will chew you up and spit you out. (Hank opens his mouth again) No, I'm not talking about Mecha-Mouth, Hank.
(sighs) This was a big mistake.
Fuckin'-A right! This is all wrong, you boys are the fucking Venture brothers. You've had your little adventure, now go the hell home.
Fuck that shit!
Hank Venture! What is wrong with you!? You're changing into an extra-bad person! Do you even know how many baby angels you just killed by saying that?!
Oh by glory! You're right! What's happening to us? We searched for freedom, and it landed us in jail.
I bet dad's worried sick. And Brock. He loves ya, Hank, I just know it.
Oh, this is just gay. Look, I gotta get back to yelling at regular kids, alright?
What else do you want? Do you want Dean? You could have Dean. He could carry you on his back, like Master Blaster.
What'll it be, sugar?
Your flask of sugar appears to be filled. But your concern is noted; now please, stand to the side.
That's a Home Boy. But be careful, that houses the souls of TWO FOULMOUTHED REDNECKS!!!
(after the boys have been shot to death)
All right... get their clothes.
Sorry sir, medical personnel only beyond this point.
I go where he goes.
Oh... you must be his "partner" then?
Not really, it's more like I work for him...WAIT A MINUTE - NO!!
What would I do without you, Brock?
(nonchalantly) You'd be dead.
Well I have good news...
Oh, thank...
And bad news.
YOU SON OF A BITCH!! (relaxes) Okay fine! Hit me with it, don't soft soap me. Give it to me straight, I can take it.
The good news is the operation was a success. We were able to remove the entire tumor from your midsection.
(to Brock as if comforting him) See, you big worry wart?
What's the bad news?
I... ah geez... This is very hard.
Oh god. It's the big C, isn't it? (to Brock) You did this to me! All that second hand smoke!! You should be the one in this bed, mister!!!
No no no, Dr. Venture! The tumor was benign, it's just that... well... (clears throat) We cannot find it.
What do you mean you can't find it?
Well, we took it out, and i don't know. When I finished sewing you up, I turned around and it was just gone!
(sarcastically) Gone. Well, I want a second opinion! Oh, wait, I'm a doctor! I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving!
Life goes on after the tragic deaths of Hank and Dean in this Season Two opener. Meanwhile, the Monarch deals with life "inside."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
