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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 4615 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

But mom, who needs to know subtraction?

You do, when I subtracts your allowance!

[gulps] Daaaddyyyyy...

Stiff upper lip, boy. Your mother's only joshing.

Ebrum. If we don't teach Tuff discipline, who will? After all, we are his parents.

That's right, Lady Like. You are Tuff's parents.

But where did we come from?

Oh, well, you see, one day, a rather large stork popped by and--

Yeah, in your dreams, dad.

Tuff!

[tugs on Lady Like's dress a little] Why don't you just tell us the truth, mom? We can handle it.

Ah, we found them in a cribbage patch, sweetie.

Yes. The same place we got you and your brother from.

That's baloney! Where did they really come from?!

[as he and Lady Like move their children out of their quarters] No need to concern yourselves with ancient history.

Too much thinking is bad for your brain.

Does this mean I don't have to do my math homework?

Of course not, darling. [closes door]

You think we're gonna get weird like that when we get old?

Probably.

Sire, a message from your fortune teller.

Well? What's my soothsayer say?

I'm lookin', I'm lookin'! It says, "If you look for trouble, your trouble will double." [gasps]

Hmph. What's that mumbo-gumbo supposed to mean?

I'm not sure, but there's more.

Good. Is it next week's lottery numbers?

If it was, I wouldn't tell you. It says, "Your account is past due. Pay up, you cheap tightwad!" [Dedede hammers him] Great. Just 'cause I'm a snail, I get slugged.

Well I'll show her. I'm orderin' a new monster.

Did you order me some aspirin?

I'll tell you one thing. That's the first time in my life I had a good head on my shoulders.

Yeah, it was real easy to carry 'cause it wasn't enough limit.

Least I don't have a waist size as big as my IQ.

[laughs] You're a real cut-up, Slice n' Splice.

SNSlice n' Splice

Thank you, Sire.

Yes, he's very entertaining. Maybe he could work in the document shredding department.

Slice n' Splice, we're gonna have some fun. Let's go show Cappy Town what you can do.

What's that?

Don't know, but it looks unfriendly.

Them Cappy-ccinos need half-and-half'in'! [sics Slice 'n Splice on the townsfolk, resulting in a massive mix-up of their body parts with several screams let out]

Oh, this is baaaa-d.

Aw, are you kidding?

[laughs] Un-baa-lievable!

Why'd ya have to go and mix us up with sheep? I know you like fleecing your subjects, but this is ridiculous.

Just look at me. I used to be fine and feathery. Now I'm fat and furry.

Have a gander at me, mate! A mammal's gotta be bats to want wings!

I want my body back as much as you do, but that there monster's too tough for us to tackle.

Crikey. Kirby's gonna have to give that beast a shalackin' so I can get me fur back.

Let's go find him.

Right.

Say, you Cappies look kinda sheepish. Hah! Sheepish! That's a good one! [laughs]

King Dedede! [Dedede looks at Bookem with a shocked expression on his face] Body-snatchin's illegal.

So what? You may have my body, but I'm still head around here!

We demand you return us to normal, your highness. We're one furious flock!

I like lamb chops, but this is ridiculous.

[the Cappies are speaking in a way that's considered unintelligible]

Listen, we don't wanna start a stampede. Let's give their bodies back and go after Kirby.

Good idea. I'm glad I thought of it. Listen up! I've done decided to be magnanimous and give y'all yer Cappy bodies back. Slice n' Splice, stick 'em all back together!

Uh, you guys look a little mixed up.

What happened?

They got the right heads but the wrong bodies!

No kiddin', columbo.

His monster mixed us up.

What monster?

Dedede's monster, and Kirby's gotta change us back pronto!

I'm fed up with havin' feathers.

RTRick & Tokkori

WE NEED KIRBY!

[Kirby comes running to everyone while saying "Fofa!" twice]

There you are! We got big trouble, buddy-boy!

Ah, mate's got a muzzle on his mouth.

What's up with that, Junior?

[The Boy Kirby and Girl Kirby laugh]

I think we'd better keep it down guys.

Falala, they look just like us! See? One of them even has the same ribbon as you do.

It's true, Fololo.

But at least they know where they came from.

Yeah. Not like us.

Freeze!

SNSlice n' Splice

There's no escape.

FFFololo & Falala

Leave Kirby alone!

SNSlice n' Splice

You two wimps think you can stop me?

At least we can protect the Kirbys.

[Slice n' Splice laughs as he raises the moon rod, ready to strike all four as Fololo and Falala brace themselves, only to stop and look on at them in recognition]

SNSlice n' Splice

You look familiar. Yes, I remember. You're Fofa! Yes. I'm sure of it. You're Fofa.

Fofa?

Who's that?

BKBoy Kirby & Girl Kirby

Fofa! Fofa! Fofa!

SNSlice n' Splice

Fofa was your name before I split you in two.

FFFololo & Falala

Huh?

SNSlice n' Splice

[starts flashback and narrates] That was some time ago.

Well, King Sucker's back to get his pocket picked again.

Sell him Fofa. Better yet: chop it and charge him double. [laughs]

Brilliant idea, eNeMeE.

[Slice n' Splice carries Fofa to the Monster Delivery System]

FFofa

No! Let me go, you creep! I don't wanna be sent to hurt anybody!

All you can do is float in the air, you useless little clown. We're splitting you in two.

FFofa

In two?! No please, you can't!

[the N.M.E. Sales Guy lets out a short mischievous laugh as Slice n' Splice splits Fofa into Fololo and Falala before they are delivered to King Dedede]

These puny two ain't monsters.

Yeah, two-for-one sales are always a ripoff.

[growls and throws Fololo and Falala down to Sir Ebrum and Lady Like] Y'all look after these here scrawny rejects 'cause I don't want 'em.

Ah, but Your Majesty...

We already have a brand new mouth to feed.

Then ye're lucky these two ain't got no mouths! [laughs]

So that's where we came from...

We used to be one, and now we're two. [flashback ends]

SNSlice n' Splice

This was the very moon rod used to split you in two.

We're really Fofa.

Fofa. I like that name. [laughs] We finally know where we came from!

Right! We're not just Fololo and Falala.

We're closer than that.

FFFololo & Falala

We're really Fofa!

[as King Dedede gets up] I guess that's why we get along so well. Right, Falala?

Right, Fololo!

Hmph.

[as she and Tuff look on] Tuff, look.

I wonder what that sun rod does.

That must be the one that puts them back together.

SNSlice n' Splice

You two will never be one again.

Yes, we will.

We'll show you!

You know what to do.

[Kirby begins his inhaling, catching Slice n' Splice off guard]

SNSlice n' Splice

So you want it?! Take it! Here!

[Kirby stops inhaling, catching Slice n' Splice off guard again and causing him to drop the moon rod, which he then happily inhales and transforms afterwards]

All right!

Nice goin', Kirby!

Yeah!

Kirby has transformed. He is now Cutter Kirby! Cutter Kirby can battle his opponent with the cutter on his cap.

Okay, it's your turn.

Right.

Do it, Tiff!

Get ready!

[before Tiff can use the sun rod, Slice n' Splice explodes, causing it to disintegrate]

Oh, Slice n' Splice didn't make the cut.

Well that fortune teller warned ya, Sire, and I quote, "When you try makin' trouble, your trouble will double."

[tightly hugs Escargoon in dismay and cries loudly]

It's too late to use it now. The sun rod bit the dust.

I'm really sorry that we couldn't put you two back together again.

That's okay. We may have two bodies...

But we've got one heart. [he and Falala laugh and hug each other]

Fofa! [puffs up and flies for a short bit]

Kirby, say "thank you!" If it wasn't for Fololo and Falala, you'd still be two Kirbys.

[puffs out and lets out a confused Poyo]

He doesn't get it.

Fofa!

[giggles alongside Falala] I'm not Fofa. I'm Fololo.

And I'm Falala.

FFFololo & Falala

Fololo and Falala!

Fololo. Falala.

Boy, directin’ traffic’s gotta be pretty boring for Chief Bookem.

What’s so bad about directing traffic?

There ain’t any.

It may be dull, but Cappy Town needs a reliable cop like him!

That’s true. Say what you want, but good ol’ Bookem’s dependable, all right.

Lunatics! This is a road, not a bumper car track!

It's your fault. I guess you must've skipped the Driver's Ed class where they teach you the King's always got the right of way.

Just ask the DDDMV!

You could have been hurt in that crash, but luckily your stomach acts as a built-in airbag.

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