OK, we split up, clear every room. If you get a shot, you take it. It's not going to kill him, but dude will move a little slower without any kneecaps, and if we make it through this, you, me and Sam are having one hell of a family meeting.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Since when do you give a crap about vampires?
Since, uh... what's today, Friday? Since, let's see... mind your business.
CSCrime scene tech
You do realize these were animal attacks.
An animal, out here? You think it came for the sailing?
You didn't sleep. Cause you don't... sleep.
Right.
Yeah, that's not creepy at all.
Bag him now?
No, we make sure.
Really?
Before we hand him over to a lifetime of demon rape? Yeah, really.
Boy, Cal just doesn't know when to quit.
Three scuzzy bars, one scuzzy strip club, a chili dog joint, seven or eight nightcaps, and now Scotches in the library. I'm getting cirrhosis just watching this.
Roll over, Lucky. Speak.
LLucky
Go to hell.
Already been. Didn't agree with me.
Empathy man, empathy. I mean, the old Sam would have given her some-some wussified, dew-eyed crap.
[on the phone] UFO! UFO!
Oh. Dude, stop yelling, you're breaking up. I didn't catch that last part.
Close encounter! Close encounter!
Close encounter? What kind? First? Second?
They're after me!
Third kind already? Better run, man. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.
Empathy, Sam! Empathy!
SSparrow
Your brother was abducted?
Yeah.
SSparrow
Oh my God!
It's fine. I mean, I've had time to adjust.
SSparrow
Did it-did it happen when you were kids?
No, like half an hour ago.
So, you've been hunting UFOs for over three decades and you basically have no concrete data and zero workable leads.
WWayne
Well, I...
Have you considered the possibility that you suck at hunting UFOs?
Look. That brings up a question. So, say you got a soul, and you're on a case. And your brother gets abducted by aliens.
Yeah, then you do everything you can to get him back.
Right, you do. But, what about when there are no more leads for the night? I mean, are you supposed to just sit there in the dark and suffer? Even when there's nothing that can be done at that moment?
Yes!
What?
Yes. You sit in the dark and you-you feel the loss.
Absolutely. But couldn't I just do all that and have sex with the hippy chick?
No!
It'll be in the dark.
Cas, we found something. It-it's this gold box. Apparently Nazis were after it back in the day. Someone tried to open it and their face melted off. I think it's the - ready for this - the Arc of the Covenant. Yeah, so-
CCas
I'm here Sam. Where is the box?
I can't believe you fell for that! That was the plot of Raiders, idiot.
If you don't help us, I will hunt you down and kill you.
CCas
Will you, boy? How?
I don't know yet, but I will look until I find out and I don't sleep.
CCas
You need help Sam.
I need your help.
This is very complex. If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong?
You're watching porn? Why?
It was there.
You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes. And you don't talk about it. Just turn it off! [Castiel looks down at his lap] Now he's got a boner.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.