These aren't vampires, man. These... these are douchebags.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
He's watching her sleep, how is that not rapey?
"He could hear the blood rushing inside her. Almost taste it. He tried desperately to control himself. Romero knew their love was impossible." Romero? Really?
Dean, shut up.
This is a national best-seller. How is that possible?
Where are you going?
Bathroom, okay? Newsflash, Mr. Wizard: vampires pee!
BBoris
These are the best days in the last six hundred years to be a vampire. Dracula, Anne Rice, please. These stupid little brats are so horny, they've reinvented us as Prince Charming with a Volvo. They want a promise ring with fangs, so I give it to them.
You gotta figure out what the hell he [Sam] is and fast.
I'm trying. But, Dean, there's a worst case scenario.
What, Satan's my co-pilot? Yeah, I know.
Well, that'd be the other worst case.
Well, then what?
Maybe it's just Sam.
A dentist drilled a guy to death.
You mean the non-sexy kind of drilling, right?
WIWoman in Bar
I'm sitting like this so you'll look at my breasts. I just bought them. I need a lot of attention.
Good luck with that.
Tori Spelling. I'm a huge fan. Girl's a real talent.
I guess it does work over the phone.
You know what else? I get a pedicure once in a while at this nice Vietnamese joint.
Okay, please stop.
This one girl, Nhung Phuong, name means "velvet phoenix." Tiny thing, but the grip on her! She starts on my toes and I feel like I am gonna -
Whoa, whoa, hey, come on, man. Now I'm scarred for life! Thank you.
I told myself I wanted out. That I wanted a family.
VVeritas
But you were lying.
No, but what I'm good at is slicing throats. I ain't a father, I'm a killer. And there's no changing that, I know that now.
Sam, what are you feeling now?
I feel like my nose is broken.
No, that's a physical sensation. How do you feel?
I think--
Feel?
I... don't know.
[Castiel takes off his belt.]
Wha-- Uh...
This will be unpleasant. [He offers Sam the belt.] Bite down on this. If there's some place that you find soothing, you should go there. In your mind.
So is he even still Sam?
Well, you pose an interesting philosophical question.
So, Samuel didn't take the bait, so I went with Plan B.
We had a Plan B?
I fired up the GPS in one of his cell phones. We should be able to track him right to the Alpha.
The old man won't notice?
Trust me. He thinks Velcro is big news.
When your kind first huddled around the fire, I was the thing in the dark. Now you think you can hurt me?
The thing about souls, if you've got one, of course, is they're predictable. You die, you go up or down. Where do my kind go?
All right, enough with the sermon, freak.
I'm trying to answer the question. Now, when we freaks die, where do we go? Not Heaven, not Hell. So?
Legoland?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.