RORandom old lady
[looks at Oliver] Oh. My. God. It's Natalie Portman! [to Hannah] Be a doll and take our picture.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
So how was your date?
[referring to Roxy] Mine...or hers? Daddy, please fire Roxy right NOW!!!!! I do NOT need her anymore!!!!
[referring to Roxy] She put a bell around his arm so every time he tried to make a move it went dingdingdingdingding!
Exactly how many times did this boy "Ding?"
It doesn't matter. Every time he went "ding," she went, "Don't," and I went "Dang!"
SSSecret Service Agent
"Tomorrow we go to Make-a-Moose. Whee!"
Except for this wig. It's worse than the one I wore in Teen BigFoot. "The only thing bigger than his feet-"
MLMiley and Lilly
[in unison] Was his-
[suddenly waking up] WAS HIS HEART!
What kind of relationship will it be if I have to lie to him about half of my life?
Well, you could always tell him the truth.
What?!
Or not. Honey, I know it's a tough decision, but I'm sure you'll make the right one.
No I won't! I'm 14! I'm almost guaranteed to mess this up. You're the adult. You're supposed to tell me what to do!
Now what kind of a father would I be if I just ordered you around all the time?
A normal one? I swear, you are no help at all. [leaves]
Huh. Boy, even when I don't say something, I say something wrong!
Learn to love his flaws?
Yeah, like the adorable way he steals water from little girls!
Thanks for letting me cut in line, sweetie. My boyfriend had his tonsils out, he can barely talk.
Honey, what's taking so long?
(nervously) Did I say tonsils? I meant kidneys!
LGLittle Girl
(angrily) My mom has a taser. ZZZTTT!
RUN!
Why?
Soccer Mom with a taser!
(waiting for a order of ice cream in a bout of severe impatience) How do people do this? IT'S AGONY! How long have we been here?
Well, in one minute, it will be exactly...a minute and a half.
You're not dating Hannah, you're dating Miley! You can't get caught cheating on me with me!
Huh?
Keep up, movie star. Ain't rocket science.
Lilly why do you read that tabloid trash, it's nothing but lies...
[reading tabloid] Hannah Montana looks fabulous...
...with the occasional glimmer of truth.
You didn't let me finish. [reading tabloid] ...too bad she's really a guy!
You have got to be kidding me!
I can't believe you didn't tell me! [gasps] You slept over my house! [gasps] You borrowed my bras!
Hey I look good in a mustache. Oh yeah, I would totally date me.
Me too.
[share weird look]
MLMiley and Lilly
[in unison] Awkward!
Oh oh.
Let me guess, it's another article about Jake Ryan isn't it.
It says his movie is done and he's back in town for the premiere.
Big whack, I don't need some guy who kisses me knowing that he's about to leave for 6 months and do some stupid movie.
Jake could fall out of the sky wearing a tuxedo and I wouldn't care.
[Jake falls from the sky in a parachute and a tuxedo.]
Um, Miley?
I'm serious. He could come down, giving me a dozen roses and it would make no difference. Zero! Zilch! El zippo!
What if he got on his knees and begged you to take him back?
Like that's ever gonna happen.
[Lilly points to Jake and Miley turns around and sees him.]
Sorry it's only one rose, but I did bring chocolates.
[Chocolates fall from the sky into his hand.]
Not just chocolates. chocolates from the sky!
Jake, I don't know what to say, so I guess I'll just show you how I feel! (Pours her smoothie on him)
(Grabs the chocolates and walks away) Thank you!
Thanks! Another basket from Jake. What a surprise!
I agree Mile, you either date this boy Jake, or tell him to send a work-out tape, cuz I'm one muffin away from my easy fit jeans
I got two words for yeh, Will power
I got two words for you, Mini jellys. Mhh I am so weak.
Look who was waiting in the drive way.(Holding a cardboard cutout of jake) You can almost hear him say: Miley take me back, give me one more chance!
Oh, I'll give you something.
Not the chocolate chip ones, use the bran, nobody eats those.
Oh my dad does, he calls them nature's broom. Uh, peanut butter balls.
Hello! Guys, this jerk hurt me and he's not gonna win me back with peanut butter balls.
Ok, you're right darling. I'm getting rid of everything. Mhh and I'll start by grilling up these perfect marinade T-bones.
Medium rare please.
Got it.
Come on Miley, the poor guy has done just about everything , what else can he do?
You're never gonna stop are you.
Miley, You've dumped stuff on me, and you've yelled at me, the one thing you haven't done is tell me that you don't care about me, tell me that and I'll go away.
No, you can't, he's so and you, I mean, come on.
I know I kissed you then left and I'm sorry, but I never stopped thinking about you.
Oh he never stopped and now I mean come on. I'll just go help with the steaks.
You do that.
(Talking to the cardboard cutout of Jake)Come on Jake'rs
Ok, I never stopped thinking about you either.
Then you'll give me another chance?
How about we start with tonight?
Uh, Slight problem, tonight's my movie premiere.
Oh, That's ok, I mean, it's a little more public than I wanted but eh.
No no no no, eh, see the thing is.
You already have a date don't you.
It's not a real date ok, it's with my co-star ok, we just have to pretend that we're dating for the press, you know.. A kiss or too, but it doesn't mean anything.
Nothing you say ever means anything. You're the same jerk you were six months ago, only now, you're a jerk with a headache.
I don't have a... Oh no.
(Hits him with his shield) Oh yes!
NNatasha
I'm so hot.
Yes you are.
NNatasha
Can I get a bottle of water?
Yes you are. I mean yes you can.
(she gives him 1 dollar)
Oh sorry, Rico just tripled his price to 3 bucks.
NNatasha
But that's all I have, and as I said before I am so, so hot.
Don't go anywhere. (Pours ice down his shirt) Ok, takin care of me now you, you can have the employee discount.
Muahahaha. You're fired.
What are you talking about?
Nice work Natasha, go buy yourself something pretty.
(following Natasha) No, wait wait, come back.
You ripped me off.
Me? You're the one ripping people off. Three bucks for a bottle of water, that's stealing
That's America. You wanna give stuff away, open you own shack, you can call it IHOF International House of Failure.
Oh, Well maybe I will. but instead I'll call it International House of Reasonably priced water, and fries and stuff.. IHORPWAFAS. Yeah, hear the name and tremble Rico IHORPWAFAS!
Brian Winters I'm Brian Winters and the stars are all up for the premiere of Teen Gladiator and the sword of fire. And here are the Teen Gladiators Jake Ryan and Marrissa Hughes, coming over to talk to me, Brian Winters. So Jake I don't know what's bigger, the buzz about this movie, or the buzz about you two.
Oh well thanks Brian, We're both really exited about this movie aren't we honey?
MMarrissa
We sure are Jakey.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.