Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[crowd is laughing derisively]
Uhhh Dr. Jekyll wanted to be good, but he soon lost control of himself to his evil side, uh Mr. Hyde.
[overacting] This potion is wonderful! Evil Hyde is much cooler than old goody goody Jekyll! HA HA HA!
Two Jackies equals one big headache!
Your head, it must be very thick, if you think I'll fall for just one kick.
Catchy. [pops neck; attempts to drop- kick Spring Heel Jack, only to miss and fall into the bay]
[tapping Spring Heel Jack's shoulder] Excuse me, Mr. Spring Heel Jack? Why don't we sit down and talk about this like gentlemen?
Back so soon? How can it be? Your clothes aren't even watery.
[Jackie-Light and Spring Heel Jack briefly fight]
Do you enjoy being a meanie?!
I confess. YES!
[the Tiger Talisman splits Spring Heel Jack into his Yin and Yang personalities]
[to Simone Magus] I hope we didn't frighten you by acting so ferocious. Please forgive my other self, his manners are atrocious.
This child must be made to pay for what Magus did that fateful day!
Your sweet revenge has just been soured. I will not let her be devoured!
[bound by curtains] A curse upon my lighter side! He told the secret I would hide! [Uncle sprinkles him with salt, slowly transforming him to stone] Without him, you'd have never known that salt will turn me back to... [completely petrified]
Stone?
[after Jackie is teleported to Uncle's Store]
Jackie! Did not expect you until tonight!
You and I both Uncle. I believe this necklace has magical powers.
Cool, can I check it out?
No Jade. This necklace could be very dangerous.
Everything is very dangerous! Traveling to Venice, digging for artifacts, wearing jewelry...
Greetings, campers! I'm a Buttercup Scout, and my Troop is trying to raise money by selling these delicious boxes of-
[Tohru bursts through the door, smashing Jackie accidentally]
Cookies!
What kind would you like, Mister? We have Vanilla Cream, Chocolate Mint, Oatmeal Raisin...
Uh, may I have them all?
You sure may! Will that be check, or- [Tohru hands her a handful of cash] Cool!
I have heard that scouting builds character. I have also heard that scouts receive a discount on cookies.
[after Jackie dispatches some thugs] That was amazing the way you defeated those men single-handedly!
[invisible due to the Snake Talisman] Hello? What am I, invisible? ... Oh. Yeah.
Who are you?
I'm uh, part of your security team. Jackie's partner. Name's Jade.
And you can become invisible? Can all bodyguards do that?
[revealing the Snake Talisman] Only if they have one of these babies.
Ah, a talisman!
A magic talisman!
May I see? [Jade hesitates, but gives him the Snake Talisman] How does it work?
You just squeeze it in your hand. Uh, but I don't think- [King Lili becomes invisible] Yup. Heh. You learn fast, now open your hand and become visible again. [no response] Uh... King? Your majesty? Lili?! I can't believe it! Lili pulled a Jade!
[opening the box, revealing a black cat statue] The Cat of Khartoum.
That's it? Looks like something you'd buy at a swap-meet for a buck.
[appearing from around a corner] Worth quite a bit more, young lady.
Valmont!
Thanks ever so for finding the Cat for me, Chan. Now hand it over!
No! It belongs to the museum!
[as Finn and Ratso approach]
Hey, maybe you haven't heard, but possession is nine tenths of the law!
[taking out some nunchucks] Yeah? And this here's the other two tenths!
You need to work on your math!
Yeah? My math's good enough to know that three against one ain't very good odds.
Spare me the gladiator scene. Just get the merchandise!
[after perfectly landing from a large fall] Fantastic! I've never felt so alive! [proceeds to leap up the cliff past Jackie] Something about the Statue, Chan. It's good luck! [leaves]
Good luck, or bad magic?
[cellphone rings] Is that you, Uncle?
No. It is a magazine salesman calling you at five o'clock in morning!
Oh, sorry. It's almost lunchtime here.
Uncle has been researching the Cat of Khartoum.
Yes, and did you discover any unusual legends or-
Getting to that! According to legend, anyone who gets scratched by claw of statue-
Becomes like a cat themself!
Bah! You already know so much! Why you bother me?
There is one thing I do not know, Uncle. What is the antidote?
Antidote?! Do not get scratched by claw of cat!
I mean, how do you reverse the process? Or are you getting to that?
No! Getting to bed! Call you back later!
[Ratso and Finn sit in front of a fully transformed cat-like representation of Valmont]
Dude, check it out. [Valmont chugs a large jar of creamer] Uh, want a little coffee with your cream there, Big-V? [Valmont ignores him and just licks his fingers]
I'll give him one thing; he's very tidy.
I say we collect the dough for this thing pronto, get Valmont to a doctor. Maybe there's some kind of cure.
Don't you mean... a veterinarian?
[Finn and Ratso snicker]
I heard that. In fact, my hearing has become quite accute. There is no cure, because this is not a disease. It's a transformation. And I rather like the new me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
