As the thunder claps, so do I applaud your skill, brother!
TZTchang Zu
Shendu! You may call me, "Master"!
...Of course...master!
FFinn
Ohh...Tssss....
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[his cell phone rings] Hello? Jade! Where are you?
Duh...Chinese Theater? But so is the Thunder Demon, and he's packing serious voltage!
How do you do that-? Never mind! Jade, do nothing until I get there! [hangs up]
Jade never does nothing!
I know, but I feel I have to say it.
[in a shop in Chinatown] One more thing! Powder of Komodo Dragon tooth. One more thing! Tincture of Tortoise Shell! One more thing! Castanets, the symbol of Tsao Kuo-Ch'iu.
SShopkeeper
In Chinatown?
LFLarry Franklin
Who's the old guy? [referring to Uncle]
Cranky co-star, occasional comedy relief.
KThe kids
No way!
GGirl
Drew got a tattoo?!
Hmmm...yeah. Been thinking I might get one of those.
[laughs] Oh, yeah. Sure Jade. Like you're dig-in-the-dirt-with-tiny-brushes-Uncle Jackie would ever let you get a tattoo!
[defensive] He would so let me, Drew! By tomorrow, I'm gonna have the gnarliest tattoo in the history of...gnarl!
Hey Jackie, how was your trip, have you lost weight, can I get a tattoo?
[chuckling] My trip was- A TATTOO?!
Please Jackie? All the kids at school are-
No.
But-
No!
But-
No.
But-
No tattoos for Jade. Period!
I will put up with a lot, Shendu. But I draw the line at wearing a dress!
This is a sorcerer's robe!
FFinn
[laughing] Shen-dudet! [bows]
Pretty dress.
CChow
Very becoming!
[annoyed] Where is my archive?
Uh, Chan's got it.
CChow
But it wasn't our fault!
FFinn
Yeah, that's right! The Shadowkhan were there too!
The Shadowkhan are my puppets. They do only what I command! Are you suggesting that this is MY fault?!
Jade?
Huh?
Why are you wearing snow boots?
Heard it might snow?
Oh, it's 72 degrees out. [begins to remove one boot]
AVALANCHE! [Jackie looks behind him, she places her now exposed foot in her backpack as he looks back at her] Heh, false alarm.
[turns her foot to reveal the tattoo she made] Jade, wash this off, right now!
Err...tried that.
What? It's a real tattoo?!
By accident!
[walks in] How can you get a tattoo by acci-[sees the symbol on her foot and gasps in horror]
[after the Shadowkhan cream him in a fight; running away] Bunny flees from vicious jackals! AAH!
[in bandages] I am telling you, it was the Shadowkhan who did this to me!
FFinn
[the rest of the Dark Hand are also in bandages] Chan kicked our butts too!
CChow
Yeah, you don't hear us lying about it.
Need I remind you, the Shadowkhan do only what I command? Come, minions!
[a great spectacle happens as Shendu tries to summon the Shadowkhan, but none appear]
...minions?
It would seem you have lost your touch, Shendu.
I HAVE NOT LOST MY TOUCH!
FFinn
[in a disguise] Finn to Ratso, I'm in position. [knocks on Uncle's Shop door]
Too busy, come back later!
FFinn
[with an accent] But I am a vealthy art collector!
[opens door] Welcome to Uncle's Rare Finds!
[eyeing the Dark Hand, with the Shadowkhan behind her] Give 'em a spanking!
[the Shadowkhan are bowing before Jade, who's skin color is slightly a pale blue]
See Jackie? Total control. They do what I tell them, and I only tell them to do good. So can I keep 'em?
No, Jade!
Aw...why not?
Because you're turning blue!
Blue's my favorite color. Besides, we gave Tohru a chance!
Tohru is human! Now, I want you to make them go away, until Uncle can find a-
Huh-cha! I have found a potion that will make Jade's tattoo vanish!
But I like my tattoo! You can't do this to me!
It's for your own safety, Jade.
Now sit still, while I apply the potion. [leans to apply the potion, only to have the tattoo violently react]
Do not touch me! I am, and shall remain, Queen of the Shadowkhan!
[as the Pan'ku Box reveals the next portal, out in Space] To find this portal, we must travel north. Very north.
Brrr...chilly.
Very, very north.
CChow
Okay, check the warranty on the box! We're like halfway to the moon!
Where did you think Tso Lan, the Moon Demon, would be found?
Valmont and his cronies have been spotted in Florida, near Cape Canaveral.
I'm on my way.
[suddenly appears] Hey! Going on a mission, Jackie?
Uh, no! It's not a mission, it's uh, a conference on Feng Shui!
In Minnesota!
Want to come?
Umm, I would Jackie, but you know I have that new science project to cook up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.