[as an alarm goes off]
Jackie! Robbery in progress, financial district! It's the Dark Hand!
Uhh, good luck with that?
They're packing heat. Talisman heat.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
FFinn
Astral projection? Motion to the motionless? Yin yang? How come I get all the loser powers?
SGSecurity Guard
Freeze!
Mule kick!
[Hak Foo easily dispatches the security guard without his talisman powers.]
FFinn
No fair, you're not even using yours!
The Horse for healing - I am not easily injured. The Rooster for levitation - I already fly. The Dog for immortality - there is not a man alive who can vanquish me!
FFinn
[intimidated] It's cool. Trade ya?
Baby.
[Hak Foo gives his Talismans to Finn.]
FFinn
Score!
I know you're eager to get on with your life, my friend, but you know more about these Talismans than anyone.
Uh but-
I need you, Jackie. One last time.
...One last time.
Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. So can I-
BJCaptain Black and Jackie
No! [they leave]
Didn't even let me ask! ...And if I didn't ask, how am I supposed to know what they said "no" to?
Haha, we're like superheroes, who steal stuff!
So, I trust you would agree that my, err... martyrdom has left a void for a new, stronger evil to fill - namely you, my brothers and sisters. Shall I proceed, then?
[The other Demon Sorcerers cast a spell on Shendu.]
Gah! What trick is this?!
You have proven crafty, brother. So we require a safety measure.
Our spell will keep you bound within a human of your choosing, until you release us.
A precaution, so that we know exactly where to find you!
In the event we deem it necessary to resume your eternal torment.
I accept your terms. I will choose my vessel well to best serve you. And the human most capable for this task is my nemesis: Jackie Chan!
FFinn
Immortality and healing? That's redundant!
Need a lift? [picks Jackie up in the Jet Pack]
I told you never play with things you don't know how to-
[pointing out the controls] Ignition, steering, throttle, brakes.
[sigh] Faster.
Look out!
FFinn
Yeah right, like I'm gonna fall for tha-
[Finn crashes into the ceiling of a tunnel entrance.]
FFinn
Ugh, immortality hurts.
Black tiger crosses bald eagle!
FFinn
We must have left millions on that beach! What is the deal, Big-V?
[revealing himself in possession of Valmont's body] Valmont cannot hear you!
[the enforcers gasp in surprise]
CChow
Uh-oh.
FFinn
Shendu?
He's back...
[the enforcers lay the Talismans before Shendu]
CChow
Your Talismans, Mr. Shendu.
We was takin' care of 'em for ya. [chuckles nervously, as the Enforcers try to leave, with Shendu blocking their path]
Keep your Talismans, they no longer matter to me.
[Valmont regains control of his body]
CChow
Wow...
[confused] How did I- Where is the money?!
FFinn
Uhh, Big-V? Shendu's back.
What?! WHERE?!
Inside you!
....Wha- That's preposterous- [walks past a mirror to see Shendu's reflection] AH! Get out!
Trust me, Valmont, the feeling is mutual. But for now, you and your thugs will assist me, or perish! [breathes fire from Valmont's mouth at the enforcers]
CChow
Got it!
FFinn
We're swinging to your beat!
[as Jackie and Captain Black find themselves surrounded by Shadowkhan]
But I don't understand! Valmont can't summon the Shadowkhan. Only Shendu.
[in possession of Valmont's body] Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, Chan.
[Jackie gasps]
CBCaptaini Black
Whoa!
Destroy them...
Unc, that was some magic!
[scoffs] Simple Chi spell. Many others in my book.
So the big bad dragon is back? And he's packing the Talismans?
Talismans are not important! Shendu is a spirit now. Not even the Talismans can change that.
So you figure he's onto something bigger, mi compadre?
The book Shendu stole from my library is the key to understanding his motives.
But which volume did he steal?
How do I know?! We must take inventory!
[holding a book] So all these books have spells? [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!
Do not touch!
Aw...
Go away, we are closed for inventory!
We are not customers.
JACKIE! A burglar!
[runs in] Uncle, he is no thief! He is- [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!
Of course he is a thief! He is wearing a mask!
PPaco
Oh no no no, El Toro Fuerte never removes his mask!
Jade, explain.
It's your team, duh. The J-Team. The Chan Clan. The Chantastic five!
Chantastic?
Five, see? You and me make two! And then there's Viper! And El Toro makes four!
PPaco
And I, Paco am the fifth member of the J-Team!
I actually had someone less...puny in mind. [looks to Tohru]
Hmm? ...I am honored.
I am sorry you all came here for nothing, but I didn't realize my niece read so many comic books.
[waking up] SLUMBERING BEAR GREETS THE DAWN!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.