Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
One more thing. You receive phone call from the university. They want you to translate parchments.
Okay.
One more thing. I cannot read these inscriptions. Very old writing. I must go in back to get my journals.
Okay.
One more thing. This is Jade, your niece. She will live with you for a year, okay?
Okay. [shocked] I have a niece?!
Your cousin Shen's girl from Hong Kong. Jade is not behaving well there; doing poorly in school. Your cousin thinks she will do better in America, with you.
[After learning that Jade will live with him and Uncle for a year.]
Nobody asked me!
Did not want to bother you. Now, you both get acquainted while I go do work.
But I don’t know anything about children! [Uncle leaves, leaving him alone with Jade] Uh, hello, I am Jackie. [Jade remains silent, staring at him.] Hmm, no English. [speaking in Chinese.] Ni hao ma? [translates to "How are you?"]
[The Dark Hand Enforcers enter Uncle's shop.]
Welcome to Uncle's Rare Finds! How can I help you?
You're Jackie Chan, the archaeologist?
Heh, I dabble in the study of past civilizations.
Well, we are aware that you recently "dabbled" a shield from a Bavarian castle. Our extremely wealthy employer is interested in purchasing that shield.
[Jackie eyes the thugs suspiciously.]
I’m sorry, I already donated that piece to the university.
Really?
[The Dark Hand thugs try to break some antique vases as a threat, but Jackie stops them.]
It would be in your family’s best interests to undonate the shield, Mr. Chan. By this time tomorrow.
[After the Dark Hand Enforcers leave the shop.]
Did they buy anything?
No.
You are terrible salesman!
Where am I going to hide a big shield? It... where did I put it?
[Jackie falls onto the hood of the Dark Hand's limousine.]
Heh, that will buff right out!
[Jackie wakes up after being knocked unconscious following his fight with the Dark Hand Enforcers.]
Augustus Black! What are you doing here? Ow, what am I doing here?
Captain Augustus Black: I’m afraid it’s official business my friend.
I didn’t think these were your pack-up singers. Where have you been? I don’t hear from you for six years... Boom! You’re in San Francisco saving my butt. Oh, those thugs must've knocked me out.
Actually, I knocked you out.
Tried to warn you.
How did you get down here?
The stairs.
You are telling me one man stopped you?
Uh, yes, but-
Three of my enforcers armed with high-tech weapons were defeated by an... archaeologist?
Did we mention he had windshield wipers?
[Jade comes riding toward Jackie and Captain Black on a scooter.]
Jackie!
Who is that?!
No relation.
Young lady, how did you get in here?
The stairs.
Jade, these people are my friends.
Your "friends" knocked you out and took you to a super secret underground base?
Uh, yes.
America is so cool!
Care to explain how our security was penetrated by a child?
I’m not a child! I’m Jackie’s niece.
Didn’t know you had a niece, Jackie.
Join the club.
Hi!
Wha- how did you-?
The stairs.
Well, take these stairs to your room!
Aw, let me help! Uncle is my uncle too! ...I think.
Uncle’s up there, huh?
You speak English?
You know I do!
So what part of “Go to your room” do you not understand?
Aw...
Stay here, or I’ll put you on the first flight back to Hong Kong.
Scout’s honor! [Jackie leaves to confront Tohru.] Tch, like I’m a scout?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
