SCSusan Calman
You've got such a gaze, Sandi. It's like the Eye of Sauron.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
What are “Spoon Licker”, “Doorway Sniffer”, “Sausage Swiper” and “Meat Hook”?
Is that how you refer to us four? [Laughter] If so, name names.
SCSusan Calman
If you'd had to describe us, Sandi, which one of us would be the “Sausage Swiper”?
[presses buzzer]
I was being so careful...
[Phill is trying to pour tea while wearing goggles that make him see everything upside down]
How do you feel?
[strained voice] Glastonbury. 2000...
[Quoting NewAge bullshit generator ] “Hidden meaning transforms unparalleled abstract beauty”.
“It's a Coldplay B-side, isn't it?”
[Later]
What's the worst noise in the world?
I think I mentioned it before today: That would be Coldplay B-sides.
There were three divisions for swimming in my school: A, B and C. I was in F.
F for floating?
It's like with people on YouTube squeezing spots. I mean, what is wrong with people?
What is wrong with your YouTube searches?
[…] I went to McLean in Texas where they have the barbed wire museum.
How do you get in?!
[ Stone houses on Easter island ]
I think I lived in London too long. Because I'm looking at that, thinking: Looks alright. 600 a month, yes, please.
It's cool but not as cool as Kanye.
It's cooler than Kanye.
I thought Kanye is something you cure with Yoghurt.
[Regarding Tattoos]
My brother got one, you know he tried for years to get it in a language that you don't understand so you won't mind if it's misspelled. “So, what's it mean?” “Honesty.”. And my mum walked in and he pulled his shirt up and just pretended he didn't have it.
[On Royal Navy slang] The term for premature ejaculation is “getting off at Fratton”, because Fratton is the train station two before Portsmouth. Which is your final destination, really.
What am I an inch and a half taller than?
The cast of Time Bandits.
[What is the loneliest number?]
Three is the magic number
Three is the magic number. Well, so they say, I've never tried.
[On the number 8,000,000,085.]
[To Sandi] OK, would it be a problem if you would explain that again?
I was bullied a school. [Audience awwws] Yes. A kid stole my lunch money and gave me a wedgie and then I decided to give up teaching.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.