Anyone who takes photographs at a concert should be thrown out. Out of the country.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
TTTommy Tiernan
You definitely have a man-cave, the question is: do you have two?
SMSarah Millikan
...no...?!
I didn't have many toys when I grew up.
Your body is a wonderful toy...
In a war between the grass and the grass-eaters, who wins?
The grass...
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - THE GRASS]
...eaters.
You said the grass-eaters? Thank you.
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - THE GRASS-EATERS]
At school, if we were going on a dawn raid or something like that, they’d say...
Sorry?
Do a raid on the kitchens and steal jelly and things.
I forgot you grew up in an Enid Blyton novel. To get your catapult back from the teacher?
My dormitory at school had a milkshake club, but we won't go into that.
It wasn't all like Enid Blyton, wasn't it?
There was a story that Alan may remember of Darwin and giant...
Oh, yeah. Didn’t they all get eaten on the boat?
Yeah, they were so delicious, that’s the point.
Wouldn’t it be brilliant if the Origin of Species just halfway through turned into a cookbook. ‘I am basically putting to you all, members of the Royal Society, everything is bloody delicious.’
The Purple Emperor Butterfly likes to start its day with rancid pickled mudfish, Thai poi shrimp paste, and big cock shrimp paste. Mmm.
What are you, 12?
Come on. When will the phrase ‘big cock shrimp paste’ not be funny?
You're gonna have to have a point for that.
I'm at plus one, I'm not gonna speak again.
[To Stephen] The idea of you at the microwave...
I had to do it on TV-dramas...
“I was playing a rough type.”
[On microwaves]
Now we got one that goes beep, beep, beep...
That's your food slowly reversing out of the kitchen.
That is the miracle of Kangaroo suckling. Who do you think, of all the animals, has...
[Bursts out laughing] Sorry, this is the only show where I hear sentences like that.
Who would like to see some Milky Magic?
[General merriment]
[To the audience] If Stephen says that to you in the Park, say no!
[Produces props] Mmm, lovely milky things.
STOP SAYING THAT!
[To Alan] Cariad has been bitten by a snake.
What's happening to me? This is not I'm a Celebrity!
What should you do?
Suck her.
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - SUCK OUT THE VENOM]
You can't afford it, love.
Even when you've been bitten, you're gonna haggle prices?
You soon drop your prices once you've tried it.
The Maribou Stork is often given the label The Ugliest Bird in the Animal Kingdom.
That's not fair.
OK, name an uglier one.
Oh, don't make me say it!
[Firmly] No!
Edwina Currie.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.