C is ultrapure water.
Can I have C?
That’s your choice?
Oh. No.
[Forfeit klaxon goes off – ULTRAPURE]
To be fair, we don't know whether Sue meant C as in C or C as in sea.
You little devil.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[On the taste of ultrapure water ]
It does taste like water, but a little bit more boring.
There are lots of places in the UK named after mammaries. Can you name one?
Boob Town.
[Laughing.] Boob Town? Can you name a real one?
Great Tit-chfield.
The Mountains of Boob.
[Laughing.] The Mountains of Boob.
I haven't understood any of the words so far.
Macerating, what do you think that means?
No, I don't know. Something you do in the garden, I'd've thought.
No, that's masturbating.
You clearly have a much more private garden than I've got.
Which place in the world beginning with M holds the worlds deadest parties?
Milton Keynes.
[On the Ordovician-Silurian extinction caused by moss]
There is a moss that destroys itself: Kate Moss
[Later]
Bitchin' about lichen.
Bicycling did cause a lot of men to get rather angry and concerned about the fact that women were doing it. Do you know the reason?
Cos they were free. They were allowed to move.
Yes. Exactly.
If they move, what else are they gonna do? Vote? Think? Be allowed on panel shows? No! We’ve got to stop this! It’s dangerous.
I like the idea of the man coming home early from work and the wife’s in bed with a bicycle.
[About the klaxon.] Why weren’t things going off then? If I’d said things, it would all have gone off!
Finally you’ve worked out the pattern.
Whenever you guessing things, it goes off! That’s how it works. Just cos she’s a girl.
Oh, now.
Aw, she’s a girl who knew the right answer.
Who invented the motorway?
Mr. Way.
Last night, I tossed two heads at the same time...[general facepalming]
[On America]
This is also the country where nine out of ten high-school graduates think Joan of Arc was Noah's wife, so...
[Stephen has just performed a magic card-out of a bag trick]
It's like Paul Daniels was in the room.
He was in the bag.
I suffer from a fatal condition Aisling, which is: posh voice, no money.
I don't think it's possible to come on this programme and not discuss the penis.
Not while I've got breath in my body, Sandi
So it is the species that most has to be utterly motionless during sex that we've discovered.
Is it nuns?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.