Did you know a veal has to have more space to be transported to the abattoir than a human being in the back of an aeroplane.
...yeah, but to be fair, we have a holiday, they get killed.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I had a puffin last week, that's not delicious, but the point of eating it was because I never had one before...
...have you tried one of my turds?
Did you just say what I thought you said? Get out. Out now.
D'you know what I had for my starter when I had the whale?
With grated puffin?
I had a seal flipper, and it looked exactly like a marigold glove filled with wallpaper paste. And it sat and you thought, "Ooh …!" And it tasted exactly like licking a hot Turkish urinal.
I'm very concerned that you used the word "exactly"...
[looking at the aries star sign]
Ah, there we are. It's some sort of goat. It's a goat waiting to be fucked from behind.
It's a provocative goat.
Quite clearly a Greek goat.
If you ask a lady for directions, she’ll ask you a question back. So if you say “do you know where the post office is?”, she’ll say, “do you wanna buy a stamp?”
Sweet.
And you’ll find you’re having a nice chat, and everyone’s friends, but you’ve no idea where the post office is.
The Chinese also invented the loo roll. Name 3 other Chinese inventions
Pot Noodles
Whispers
[On fortune cookies]
I wish they'd be a bit more honest—I mean, snap, "With the amount of MSG you've just had, a massive coronary is on the way"!
[After Alan has related a tale of him being a member of the pub quiz team]
Wouldn't it be great if you walked into a pub with him, though … [points at Stephen] … with Fry on your team? "Yeah, this is Barry from down the road. Yeah, he does look like him." And Fry would be there having to fake it in the pub—"Oh, blimey!"
Giving it away by swearing in Latin!
[There's a picture of a statue on the screen.]
Who is this?
Eros.
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - EROS]
Well, thank you for falling into our little heffalump trap there. It’s actually the Angel of Christian Charity.
Eros.
Eros was the Greek god of love. This is the Angel of Christian Charity.
Why is it called Eros, then?
I saw a goat up a tree in Morocco. They go right up the top! I couldn't believe it, I thought it was somebody in the pub having me on, but no …
And you're sure it was a tree, not a goathanger?
What does a pair of pygmy chimpanzees do when they see a box?
HAHelen Atkinson-Wood
Wear children's clothes and have a tea party.
An octopus the size of a volleyball can fit into a soft drink can.
Er, bluff.
After a lifetime working with radioactivity, what did Marie Curie have two of?
Lesbians.
She had two lesbians? She left them in her will to someone.
What is the Italian for cuttlefish? Do you know by any chance??
Cuttlefishio?
[after a question barrage from Alan]
I'm looking at my information card here because you're really pumping me, Alan. You're pumping me.
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