You couldn't share me, so you ruined my life.
I didn't know what Wayne meant to you, Mom. I was ten. I didn't know anything. I thought it would be cool if you married Elton John.
George, Wayne could've made our lives so much better, but you blew it.
I know. I feel horrible about it, but there's nothing I can do. It was a long time ago.
It wasn't a long time ago. He came by the other day and you told him I was dead. You lied. You're always calling me a liar, but you are no better.
Yes, I am. I only lied once.
Really? Is this the first time Wayne has tried to contact me?
(walks over to Ernie)
(scared) He comes by everytime he's single, it's been 7 times in the last 30 years. Oh, he misses you greatly.
Okay, so I was raised by the biggest liar in the world. You told me, for my birthday, that you got me a cat, like a special breed, called the nut cat. That squirrel almost tore my whole face off!
At least I didn't ruin your life, I'm gonna die alone thanks to you.
No you're not. I'm gonna find Wayne and I'm gonna fix this, I'm gonna give you guys a second chance.
So? I'll just tell him the truth, and I promise you Mom, when he sees you, he's gonna think you're as beautiful now as you were 30 years ago-- oh qué la, I'm lying now and I can't stop lying! (runs out the house)
Man, I'm too late. Angie has the bills.
I went a little crazy with my raise and dropped $900 on some new golf clubs. I was hoping to get the bill before Angie got a chance to see it.
You hide things you buy from your wife?!
(imitating Ernie): "You hide things you buy from your wife?!" Dude, you really need to get a woman, I'm tired of explaining these things to you!
George, If you hadn't hooked up with Angie when you were 18, your life would've been just like mine.
That is the worst thing you've ever said to me!
Angie (to George): What did you do to finally make Benny quit smoking?
I told her the same thing I wrote on her Mother's Day card: "You're old and you'd better not lose your job, because sabes que? I ain't taking care of your ass! Warm regards, your loving son George."
[When George is planning to threaten a neighbor into taking down a racist statue]
George (while holding a bat): You know what they call this in the hands of a Judo master?
The last thing he touches before he dies?
Angie [to Max]: I know you had a good time working at the factory, but it's not your future. [to George] Would you please talk some sense into your son?
Max, there is no way you're dropping out of school.
But I have to start making money right now. Social Security is a pyramid scheme being gutted by the baby boomers.
Do you have any idea what the hell you're saying?
No. Somebody knocked over the radio on the loading dock. It's stuck on AM.
You don't go to war without a general! You don't play football without a quarterback! You don't have a wolf pack without... what's the head wolf called?
The lone wolf can't be the leader. He's alone!
Maybe they're following him, but he doesn't know it.
Do you want to go to the factory or do you want to talk about wolves?
I wanna go to the factory, but can we talk about wolves on the way?
