[Gordon reads the sign by the front door]
'Enter as strangers, leave as friends'... Enter a stranger, start dating the owner.
Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Gordon reads the sign by the front door]
'Enter as strangers, leave as friends'... Enter a stranger, start dating the owner.
[Gordon orders crab cakes]
Somebody spit on my food? What is that?
It's coulis mango sauce.
Oh, coulis mango. Thank you. [she leaves] Looks like something out of a modern art museum. Splat! Okay... [takes a bite] Wow. That's fucking disgusting. It's rancid. Plastic bits of crap running through the crab cakes.
PJ's Steakhouse? "Pathetic Joke"! That's what it stands for!
[Gordon tries a French onion soup.]
Jesus. It's like somebody's dropped sliced onions into boiling dishwater. Dreadful.
How's the French onion?
Off to a bad start unfortunately. It's like somebody's pissed in my soup.
That's not good, we'll take this away.
[The soup was returned to the staff.]
Guys, the French onion, he said it's like piss. The flavor he said was no good.
(to Mitch) I told you the onion soup wasn't right.
We know, I know.
But how are you going to educate these guys to do that right?
I don't know, I'll find out.
[Gordon looks at the shepherd's pie.]
That gravy's made from...
Beef.
Beef stock on a shepherd's pie.
Yes.
A shepherd's pie is made out of...
This one is actually beef.
Then it's a cottage pie, not a shepherd's pie, because the shepherd stands for the...
The sheep.
[Maureen tastes the shepherd's pie.]
Bad, that's gross.
And it's not hot either.
That's part of the reason why I'm not coming back because it's watery.
(to Annette) He (Mitch) doesn't know what he's doing. Mitch is fucking up everything here.
[Gordon tries a fisherman's platter. One of the scallops tasted bad.]
Fucking hell. My God.
Oh Lord.
That's gross.
No good, Chef?
It's soft, bland, rubbery. I didn't realize it would be this bad.
(to Maureen) Mitch can be blind and I'm not kidding you. He's fucking me over here. All you have to do is do what I told you.
Yeah. Well, I'm not even going there, Dad.
(to Chief) You're from Ireland.
Yes.
What happened here today had nothing to do with Ireland. Shepherd's pie - well, fuck me, that wasn't shepherd's pie. If you went to Dublin and you serve shepherd's pie like that, they would shoot you.
[Gordon finds some mozzarella sticks.]
What is that?
Mozzarella sticks.
[Gordon finds some blood in the mozzarella sticks.]
Can you see that there? Blood, blood from where?
From the meat.
Blood from the meat on the mozzarella sticks.
[Gordon puts down the mozzarella sticks.]
Come on, guys. Thank God I didn't have the fucking mozzarella sticks. Look like a blood transfusion going on down there.
[Gordon finds some meat in the refrigerator.]
You've got raw meat here, cooked meat, salami with blood in there. Fuck, come on, please. Don't do this to yourselves, let alone the customers. Rule number one: When learning to cook, you cannot store raw meat and cooked meat on the same fucking shelf in the same fucking fridge. The whole fucking thing has got a cross-contamination.
[Gordon finds some slimy chicken tenders.]
What's in there?
Tenders.
Chicken tenders. Why is it all bubbly and slimy?
The chicken comes like that.
The chicken comes like that. Look how slimy it is, look how slimy it is. Look at it. Shit!
(interview) My God, it's ribid, it's so embarassing.
[Gordon finds a big piece of salmon.]
What is this? How can you serve that? It's like it's been left out for days and it's been attacked by cats.
I would never, never have put a spoon of anything in my mouth if I knew this was taking place.
(interview) It's shocking to see just the extent of cross-contamination. There's no check-up.
(to Chief) Sorry, Chief. You may be the chief, but I swear to God, there's one thing that Grasshopper hasn't got is a LEADER.
(interview) We should all be ashamed of ourselves. At this point in time, I'd like to shot the doors and just say, "You know what? Break it off."
(to Mitch, Maureen and Chief) Someone's got to help me here a little bit. I cannot help a situation who are not willing to help themselves, and you don't need me to come in here and turn your fridge upside-down. Mitch, if you're the one with the hands-on deck in this business, and you're (Maureen) supporting him, and you're (Chief) the mentoring figure, we're screwed.
We have people coming tonight. What are we going to do?
I can guarantee you one thing. I am NOT serving food tonight with that shit in there - no way.
[Gordon personally brings back a poorly prepared Shepherd's Pie to the kitchen.]
What is that? Let me just tell you something, when I was busting my chops earlier making it for you, I turned my back for five minutes and you send that out.
Chef.
Chef? Come on, guys. On the back of 115 customers in 2 1/2 hours, results are that.
(interview) Chef Ramsay was like, "To hell with all these!" There was like no passion, no care for any of the food coming out.
All you fuckers get paid?! WHERE'S THE WORRY ON YOUR FACES?! IF YOU WERE MY BRIGADE, I WOULD'VE FIRED YOU FUCKING SIXTEEN YEARS AGO!! YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU and FUCKING YOU!!!
Fuck!
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