[Pointing to photograph] This is you... and this is me mum. Mary. M-Mary Samson.
RRoger
This is so weird. Your mum's Mary Samson? She had a nickname. What was it? Everyone used to call her... Mary, something Mary... Oh, what was it? Ma... Oh.
Anyway... me mum worked out a timeline on her pregnancy, when I must have been conceived. It was at this party. She says one of the guys in the photograph must be me dad. Me real dad. Only, she had a few drinks that night and can't for the life of her remember who she had sex with, which I find deeply disturbing on so many levels. So I guess... me question to you... and trust me, never in me worst nightmares did I ever think I'd be going around repeatedly asking this, but... me question is... did you shag me mum?
Um... I've got a son! Look at you. Y- You're all grown up. I- I- I've missed so much. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. [Clicks fingers] Anal Mary! Your mum's nickname. Everyone used to call her Anal Mary. You know, I'm pretty sure I'm not your dad.
Ahh... There's no easy way to say this, but, um... I fucked your mum up the arse. It's her thing, you know. Yeah, it's all coming back to me now. Oh! Anal Mary. How is your mum? She, er, single?
I always hated people calling her that. So she liked it up the sh... I just don't think... people should have judged her. And to answer your question... Yes, it was normal sex.
I don't know if he's got a car. 'Cause as I sat there and he was nearly coughing himself to death, I didn't think it was appropriate to start making an inventory of all his worldly possessions. You know, some people might say that was a little insensitive.
I meant as a person! I'm just thinking your sister needs a little bit of something to take her mind of things. By something, I mean... I know what you...! I know what you mean.
I was fucking ecstatic. Guy was a miserable, judgemental prick. Danced a happy little jig on his grave. [Dances a jig and leans into Finn] You think about that... when you're out there scrubbing off graffiti and scraping up dog shit.
Yeah, me too. I'm glad you came back. There's something I need to talk to you about... before Grace gets back. Um... Do you know... about the storm... and these weird powers?
No, no, no, she's not. She's... [groans] I'm not getting any better. And I'm in so much pain. I've been letting her do it... [groans] because she... didn't have anybody else. And you show up. She's got a brother now. I don't wanna live like this, Finn. I need you to make her see that she has to let me go.
Play... Play it cool, play it cool. Hey! Hey, good to see you. Hi, Jess. Jess, this is me sister... [Grace and Jess shake hands] well, half-sister, Grace. Grace, this is Jess. It's Alex, right? Yeah, I'm Finn. This is me sister... half-sister, Grace. Grace, this is Alex. "From the bar".
What? Who's being weird? [Laughs sheepishly] Oh! She's always like this. You should see her when we're on community service. We have such a laugh. Don't we have a laugh?
At least I'm not gay. Absolutely nothin' wrong with it. Unless... Unless you're pretending you're not gay so you can trick girls into having sex with you.
I always have done. Ever since me first day on community service. She acts all tough and she's not. And I know I can make her happy. You don't wanna listen to this.
[Drops in] Oh, hello! I'm Rudy! It's nice to meet you! 'Ey, I bet he's been telling you all sorts about me, hasn't he? What's he been saying? What've you told her, you, you shit?
I'd love to help you, but unfortunately, I am... I'm genetically programmed to fuck people's sisters. It's the way the Lord made me. Can't be helped, dude. [Notices Grace flirting with a muscular man at bar] Who the fuck is that clown?
Are you just gonna sit there and let some friggin' Neanderthal treat your sister like a piece of meat?! Worse... It's worse than a piece of meat! He's treating her like a piece of fish!
