He's... He's been been arrested. For... exposing himself... in public.
SSam
Exposing himself? What?
Yeah. Flashing.
At some Scouts.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Your girlfriend was here. The other one.
I feel so guilty! Time rewinds and it's like I've never said it. I ended it six times. She cries and I'm back where I started. It's doing my head. I just need it to be over!
You need to make her hate ya. Seriously... she's steaming, she's telling you got a tiny dick, you're a crap in bed, you don't feel guilty... maybe time won't rewind.
SSam
[Walks up] Hey. What did you want to talk to me about?
I can't see you any more.
SSam
You're finishing with me? Why?
'Cause I'm gay.
SSam
[Laughs] You're gay?
Mm-hm.
SSam
So... What, it was all a lie? Everything?
Wait...
SSam
How could you do that to me? What are you doing? Do I mean nothing to you?
Wait, no, don't cry. [Puts arms on Sam's shoulders and realizes he can turn back time]
PRPast Rewinded Sam
Hey. What did you want to talk to me about?
I can't see you any more.
PRPast Rewinded Sam
You're finishing with me? Why?
'Cause you're fat. You're large. Kind of round.
PRPast Rewinded Sam
What?
I've got three months left to live. I don't want to waste it with you. 'Cause I'm impotent and I know how much you love cock.
PRPast Rewinded Sam
Why are you being like this?
'Cause you got... weird tits. And nasty snatch gunk. I'm sorry.
PRPast Rewinded Sam
You're finishing with me?
And you're gonna ask me why and I can't tell you. There are things going on with me, things I can't tell you about. No matter what I do, the ones I love will be the ones who pay.
SSam
What you just said. It's from Spider-Man. You're dumping me with a line from Spider-Man?
[Repeatedly] No...!
SSam
You immature pathetic shallow bastard!
It's not from Spider-Man!
SSam
Have you got no respect for me?! I thought you were better than that!
Sam! [Grabs her and she slaps him] Oh!
SSam
You stay away from me!
Done. [Straightens jacket and walks away]
[Brings drinks at a wine cellar bar] They asked me if I wanted small or large. I said large.
You trying to get me drunk?
No.
I'm joking. Maybe I should get you drunk.
Why?
Because I reckon you're quite cute when you're drunk. [Man walks by with head turned to them] Who's that?
I went to school with him.
A friend?
He lives next door to me. He stopped speaking to me when we started secondary school.
Did he give you an hard time?
Every morning when I woke up I felt sick just thinking about him. I told my parents and the teachers. They knew it was happening. No one did anything.
Was it his house you tried to burn down?
A few months ago, he sent me a text inviting me to this club. I thought he wanted to apologize. I get to the club, I walk up to him and his mates. He texted me by mistake. It was so humiliating.
Simon...
I was so angry, I... I got drunk. I started thinking about everything he did to me at school. I lost it. I went round to his house. I made sure his family were out. I soaked some tissues in lighter fluid. I lit them and dropped them through the letterbox. There was a cat.
A cat?
Inside the house. I thought, "The cat didn't bully me at school. "He hasn't done anything." The carpet was just starting to catch alight. The cat was freaking out.
What did you do?
I put the fire out.
How?
I pissed through the letterbox. [Her smirks grows] This is when his mum comes home. She starts screaming. You know what it's like once you've started. It's hard to stop. [She is giggling] It's not funny. Sorry. [She is laughing] I'm sorry. [Simons smiles with her]
Him and his mum can come live with me at the Community Centre! I can get free food from the vending machines and I’ll steel booze from the kitchen. I’ll steal from other babies! I’ll go to the park and forage for nuts and berries!
FBFinn [the baby]
[thinking] You prick.
So I guess we're getting serious then.
Is that your tea?
[shows what he got from the vending machine] Starter, main course, dessert. And a nice refreshing beverage to wash it down.
You can't live on that shit. Why don’t you come round my house and I’ll cook you dinner?
You shouldn't have taken my phone. Give me the phone.
I can't let you go to the police.
Simon, you don't owe them anything.
They are the only friends I've got.
EEllie
[Giving a pre-reformed addict's lifestyle confessional lecture to a support group on a park lawn] I went with so many boys. And girls, boys and girls at the same time. I took part in... disgusting, perverted, unnatural acts. I was drinking and taking drugs. I used bad language all the time. I called my mum... a “fat bitch”. But I'm not like that any more. I'm a good person.
[With community servers on a nearby bench] That... that ain't normal.
She went to my school. This one time, she's doing this boy I know in her dad's car, yeah? She gets off him and sits on the gear stick. She's on there for, like, 20 minutes, literally... [mimics repeated copulation grunts]
Try that in your driving test. That's getting you a fail. Or a pass... and probably some kind of internal injury.
It's the same with some girls on my estate. No one's even getting pregnant any more. [To Simon] What about your friends?
I believe that's generally referred to as a "pedophile ring".
I'm not a pedophile.
Yeah? You'd screw your own sister for a slice of cheese.
I don't even like cheese.
That makes it even worse, you sick bastard.
Maybe she's done sitting on her dad's gear stick. It's a thought.
It's not just her, is it?
Oh, yeah, look there's more.
I know him.
[Man and woman walk down steps] Oi, you! [Gestures come here]
MMan
Can I help you?
Why are you all dressed like retards?
MMan
There's a meeting in the community centre tonight. You should come along and find out. All of you. [Walks away]
Right. Cool.
MMan
See you there, buddy.
He used to be a right headcase.
[To support group] Bring your friends.
This is weird.
They need our help. Things have to change.
Don't you have any shame?
Don't you have any dress sense? Seriously, you look like my mum.
And you look like a slut.
[Amused] Are you for real?
You think having sex with boys will make them respect you? If you behave like a slut, they’ll treat you like a slut.
Freak.
What's he doing here?
Who is he?
He's police.
[Walks in wearing a formal grey dress] Morning! [Goes through door]
What is up with that?
You want to tell me what's going on? What's with the makeover?
If you dress like a slut, people will treat you like a slut.
What's happened to you?
I'm sorting my life out. All the drugs and the drink-driving. I've done so many things I'm ashamed of. And I... touched myself in front of you.
[Chuckles] I'm pretty sure you enjoyed it.
Well, I shouldn't be masturbating in public toilets. I'm saving myself until I'm ready to make a proper commitment.
It's a bit late for that.
No, it's never too late.
And it's not too late for you either. Lisha, what is this? Has it got something to do with that lot we saw yesterday?
You should come to our meeting.
Did they do something to you?
You used to have so much going for you. You threw it all away. So pathetic.
This isn't you.
We can help you, Curtis. Excuse me.
[To Nathan who is sitting on a bench rolling a joint with walkman earbuds in] Excuse me, you know using Marijuana can cause epilepsy and mental illness? ...I'm talking to you! What's wrong with you? You don't need to behave like this. You can be so much better. [Starts whispering her mind control seed]
[He then stands up unaffected and walks past Rachel] Nice cardigan!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.