“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

You know the real secret of life is?

No. Why don't you Gen X-splain it to me?

We all gotta make peace with the fact that we're gonna die. But you still gotta live. So, how about we go out and pretend do that for an hour, and then you can get back to arranging your pens?

Killing brain cells is a time-honored way to let bygones be bygones.

You're under arrest!

For what?

You're really gonna ask that?

Benson

You were reckless and you almost derailed the entire case.

Well, like I said, I wanted to impress you. 30 days is not a lot of time, Captain.

Benson

Now you have to spend that time trying to win my trust back.

How do I do that?

Benson

I need to know that you're here for the right reasons, because you care about survivors and trauma and healing, not because you want a promotion. You know, my detectives...

They're good investigators.

Benson

Yes, and they're all dysfunctional. They're not perfect. But that allows them to lead with empathy and with compassion.

Well, both of my parents are therapists. They put a lot of pressure on me to be perfect.

Benson

I know. I can see that. Perfectionism is a dangerous way to approach imperfect victims, let alone perps. From now on, I expect teamwork from you, not perfection.

How's your brother Teddy doing?

I kind of think he's seeing someone.

Oh, you think? You don't know?

Well, he knows what a bitch I am to the women he dates, but the guy deserves it 'cause he's got the worst taste in women.

Just make sure that Martin doesn't get on a private jet, fly to Moscow, and move in with Edward Snowden.

Fin

Was Carisi this cranky when he was a detective?

Benson

Yes.

Benson

So your son is a rapist, and no matter how much you're willing to spend, that will never change.

I'll do what I have to, just like you did. Do you honestly think you're the only mother who would do everything in her power to keep her child safe?

Benson

I didn't break the law.

You call this police work?

Benson

You just don't get it, do you? Your son's a rapist.

OK, I don't want to keep hearing that. I raised a good boy.

Benson

No, you raised a son who is still a little boy who is afraid of displeasing you, so he does everything that you tell him to do. You've crippled him, and that is not parenting.

He needed me.

Benson

Maybe when he was little, but you never let him grow up.

He wasn't ready.

Benson

Is that what you tell yourself? No, Connie, you see, you needed him, and you used him.

He loves me, and I love him.

Benson

That's not love. That's not mothering. That's narcissism.

Benson

Because the only thing worse than a partner with no loyalty is a partner with blind loyalty.

I may have overreacted with the gun, but I know what I saw.

Which is what exactly?

Harold and his friends sitting there like Renaissance popes, pants down, young girls half-naked in their laps.

Going after the boss' husband. I give you credit for chutzpah. There a promotion in this for you?

We've met a few times, Mr. Blumfeld, and I'll admit that I don't know you very well, but you apparently don't know me at all.

Your clients are immoral, they're unethical, and they're upper middle class. Juries already hate authority figures abusing their power, especially rich Caucasian ones.

Who drops out of Harvard?

Don't ask me; I set a bus on fire.

Fin

Your story isn't over yet. This heartbreak thing, you'll get over it. And if you live your life right, you're going to get your heart broken more than once. Trust me on that.