Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
What do we do now?
I don’t know man, I don’t know, I’m still processing the fact that Bill Nye, the freakin’ science guy, just passed on, and we saw it. I wa- I was like the biggest fan of his show, I knew the theme song, ♪Bill Nye the-♪ I-I can’t d- I’m not gonna do it but yeah I’m… I’m like a mega fan so that was hard to watch.
You know Allan you’re-you’re not just a pretty face man, y-you know you a-you also got some brains up there, did you know that?
Mr. Boss, you’re having the time of your life back there.
Yeah, are you okay?
[chuckling] I don’t know, I love my boys!
I love all you guys.
I love- I love all of you too. This is great.
This is a great day to be a Smiling Friend.
[Mr. Boss chuckles some more.]
I love being here, this is a fun energy, I like this place.
Oh hi Rotten, I’m just grabbing some ice. How’s living forever going?
Well, I’m not dead, but… I’m not really living either. I mean… Pim, how do you do it?
Well… I don’t know, sometimes life can be scary, but that’s also what makes it exciting.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, BOYS!
That was 6 months ago, Mr. Boss, but we still love you!
God, the Boss is funny, he re- no yo- I'll tell you something, he really is funny, and he really should do standup and… [Allan walks to watch] and I love Bill Nye's ghost, so that's awesome, and… [Zoey, Marge, and Glep walk to watch too.] Allan built the rocket shoes and Pim, you made that snowman come to life with the flower… Wow, I just I love my friends, and I love my God, and I love my country, and… uhh, and God bless America I guess, what else can you say?
Allan. We are so fucked.
Why?
I built this office thirty years ago without any permission from the city and used cheap laborers from the Enchanted Forest to do it. This building is a fucking mess. It violates every code in the books! You really thought it was legal to build a giant yellow smiley face between two buildings?
I don't know.
Do you realize? Do you realize something? If we fail this inspection, we could lose our office and we'd have to move out of it?
No.
Yo, dude? Uh, I really hate to ask this, I seriously do, uh, but, I'm— I'm starting to crash kinda hard right now just 'cause we've been walking around and I haven't gotten food all day. If, if with full due respect to you, uh sir, if you could just make me literally one more silly sausage I'd be so, I'd be— that'd be enough to get me until dinner.
WHAT?! What the FUCK is wrong with you two?!
Woah hey, calm down dude.
Yeah, we're just trying to help.
[completely losing his mind] HELP?! I called you to make me smile, and I've never felt worse in my entire fucking life! You both fucking suck at your job! Asking me about silly sausages after you failed me-- Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You guys are just like everybody else, you don't take me fucking seriously!
What the hell? This guy is freaking out!
[A small crowd gathers around him. They begin laughing.]
[completely lost in his insanity] Fuck you! Fuck you all! I don't care if you people don't like me! I don't care-- I don't--you people have broken me! I don't care if you LAUGH at me! I'm gonna speak my mind! This country! Is! FAILING!!!!!
HE'S SO FUNNY AND SILLY!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Wow! So my building is perfectly safe?
Fuck no, it's the worst building I've seen in my entire life and you failed miserably. But that skeleton in the wall, that was-- that was funny as shit. I had a good time hanging out with you guys.
Yo guys, it's me, Charlie. Hey, did that guy just turn into sand?
Ey, man, I'm sorry to interrupt you, bro. I just wanted to tell you, like, I'm a huge fan, bruh. The TV stuff, the Presidency, everything you ever did man. Like... you wanna fuck my girlfriend?
[Mr. Frog raises his fist to punch the patron, but lowers it quickly.]
Oh, I can't be bothered.
Hey, the offer still stands, amigo. Look -- [places his keys on Mr. Frog's table] That's us. Room 302, up to you, man.
If you're feeling down, maybe you need / To check and see if you got all you need / How about friends? You've got me and Charlie! / And we'll be nice friends to you / What about love? Another thing that's good / Love makes the world feel yummy and good / And what about family? Family is key! / Look at this little family of bees! / There are so many--!
[Mr. Frog, without warning, kicks Pim in the face hard enough to knock him unconscious]
OH MY GOD, DUDE!
Haven't heard from you in a while.
Yeah, I've been busy.
You know, your mother passed away three months ago. Cancer. She asked about you. Everyone does. Saw you on that TV show, eating that bug or whatever it was. And we all saw you become President. Everyone said to me "Oh, how's your boy doing? You must be so proud of him!" I would nod my head. But I didn't have the heart to tell 'em I was embarrassed. Embarrassed to see you on that TV screen, making a fool of yourself. Making a fool of the Frog name! Do you have any idea -- any idea how hard it's been for me?!
I-I'm sorry.
Sorry?! Be sorry for your poor mother, whose last words were "Where is he? Where's my boy? Where's my boy?" No! No! You walked out on this family, and now you come back? Now?! You have the nerve to show your face around here? You're a disgrace! Get out of my house! [turns away from him and cries silently as he leaves] I have no son...
Goodbye.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
