Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
It's so much easier to be gay.
Oh no!
Yeah, I'd have a really defined subculture.
Overrated!
We're both women, I'd have some idea of what she was thinking and feeling.
Not necessarily.
I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs.
They're all unfamiliar unless they're yours.
If you have no interest in the past and you don't read history, how can you possibly comprehend the present?
George, history is not what really happened. History is some stupid war-mongering patriarchal idea of what happened! Who gives a shit about that?
[to George] I'm your seventh spouse. How much more warning do I need?
I don't get fucked in the ass.
That makes one of us.
I slept with Celeste.
Okay, bullshit. Celeste is a woman … [confused] isn't she?
[as the Death Man] Nobody stays!
Life is a series of accidents.
Did anything bad ever happen to someone you love on a bridge?
No, but they collapse all the time. If you Google "bridge collapses," you get, like, 1000 hits.
Why are you looking at me like I'm some kind of retard?
Because I swear, Russell, sometimes you are. And for your information, labia are not internal organs.
What's going on with you?
l don't know. l guess l'm depressed. l don't think it's clinical, but l just can't seem to have a normal healthy relationship with another person.
Right. Get in line. Nobody has normal healthy relationships. My theory, which l have yet to put into practice, is to pick someone slightly less crazier than you are.
Society propagates this vision of people hooking up and staying together forever. ln reality, how often does that actually happen?
It's just so absurd. The idea that there are kids waiting for homes, and people still have the nerve to say who's good enough, and who isn't based on are you gay or not.
People are stupid. What a shock.
[to David] You're in my will, I'm in yours. We basically are married even if the law refuses to recognize it. But then again, I refuse to recognize most of the Bush administration, so I guess it all evens out.
The world's not your own private fucking chemistry set. Just stay away from me!
[Bettina and Ruth are playing Scrabble.]
I have colitis.
Oh, no.
C-O-L-I-T-I-S.
[Talking about Lisa's internment.]
Well, when you think about it, this ceremony does the same thing. You want to go so that when Maya grows up you can say that you were there.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
