Who in the world would send you feces in the mail?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I can't do this any more!
What are you saying?
I'm saying I quit. I've got to find another kind of life for myself. And not just for myself, but for Maya, too.
Did you know that the average American changes careers seven times during his or her lifetime?
Is that information supposed to be useful in some way, George?
It's just a fact.
I quit my job.
I quit my fucking life.
No, you got fired.
Here's a poem dedicated to every guy I've ever been with: "Your Penis Is Kinda Nice, Too Bad You're Attached to It!"
[about Arthur] Maybe we should buy him a whole new wardrobe. Do they ever do that? Queer Eye for the Gay Guy.
I don't think Arthur's gay. I think he's A.
I don't know. I think asexual people are asexual because they don't wanna come out of the closet.
Geology is controversial?
Oil, Claire, oil!
[while embalming a girl whose face is set in a laughing expression] This one won't stop smiling. Wish I knew what the fuck was so funny!
[about Russell] I could have sworn he was gay. He's knitting!
Haven't you noticed a lot of straight guys knit these days? It's like a macho thing. Like, "I'm so straight I can even knit!"
I could never send you poo! Ever!
Oh, Brenda's feeling eggy.
[about George's other son] Why have you never told me this?
Because he's never really been part of my life.
If he's sending us shit in the mail, he is a part of your life!
[watching a documentary about cave paintings] That's where everything started. In those cave paintings there was the creation of the idea of image, of the representation of ourselves.
Exactly. That's when we stopped living inside nature and started living inside our heads.
Yeah, just while we can just sit back and watch while greedy corporate Bush suckers destroy nature, since we're no longer a part of it.
If you take humans out of nature, then all there are left with is human nature.
Okay, that sounds really good, but what the fuck does that mean?
[consulting Keith what to wear on the job] Helmut Lang jeans, black tee-shirt — the faded Banana Republic one with the stretch — and black lace-up boots.
David, this is a profession, okay? There's an image to project. That image isn't fucking Keith of Finland.
Are you not out on the job?
No one's ever asked.
You big whore!
[taping an answering machine message] Hi! You've reached David and Keith, but we can't come to the phone right now because we're too gay!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.












