“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Dukey, nobody likes going to the doctor, but it's something we all have to do. Like homework or holding in gas at the dinner table.

I need your keys.

Huh?

He locked the front door.

How does a dog...

HE'S AN IMPRESSIVE DOG, OK?!

Really?! You're gonna laser me to the vet?!

It's for your own good!

This is how you convince me to not be scared?!

Will you just hold still so I can laser you!?

You'll never take me alive!

You might have heart worms!

I might not!

You might have fleas!

I haven't scratched in weeks!

That's a lie and you know it!

(singing) # With a swish, swish here and a scrub, scrub there. It's time to clean up everywhere. So say goodbye to filth and grime, I'll clean this mess in double time. (Whistles) Well, it used to be a chore, but it isn't anymore when you've got the secret to a super clean floor. Now the dirt's all gone and it didn't take long when you sing along to the clean up song. (Whistles) When you sing along to the clean up song! #

Great job, son. And now that the house is clean I'm gonna prepare a cleaning day feast.

Well, say all you like, but you gotta admit the song was catchy.

And now it's stuck, stuck, stuck in my head, head, head! ARGH!

Ok! Calm down, down, down! It'll wear off.

(singing) # And it's my dog I grab and I take him to the lab!#

Kitty!

No Johnny, That's not a Neighbor's Cat, That's a Garbage Truck. Johnny, Kitties are Fluffy, And Evil, And... [Dukey looked Shocked] Where's Johnny? Johnny?

Kitty! Kitty!

You had to Erase his Brain.

Susan

We were Trying to HELP!! Now Run, Dog, RUN!!!

Susan

The Theme-O'meter utilizes harmonic sequencing combined with brainwave alteration to evoke various cinematic atmospheres.

Can I get a science to English translation?

It's melodic frequencies adjust brain perception to create various filmic styles within reality.

Can I get an English to Johnny translation?

Susan

It makes real life just like a movie.

Well, Dukey, guess it's time for our last words.

Does horrified screaming count?!

I'm gonna go with yes.

Ok, so we need an ending. How do Horror movies end?

Everybody dies!

Romantic Musical?

Kissing!

I've had a good life. Let's stick with Horror.

(singing) #Johnny, what's going on? We're grooving to a crazy song! How long is it gonna last? I hope this movie theme moves fast! #

(singing) #We need a kiss to break this trance. Susan, won't you take this chance. Kiss Gil! #

Susan

Kiss Gil?! (singing) #No, I don't think I will. I'd sooner might choose death. Argh! Coz Gil's got werewolf breath!#

Well, there's gotta be a kiss soon. Coz I can't take much more of this corny musical... (singing) #Listen, Bling-Bling, here's my plan; kiss my sister be a man! #

Should've gone with the werewolf breath.

Whoa! That kid should deliver pizzas.

(To Johnny, laughing) You?! The hall monitor? Oh, the irony! That's like putting me in charge of the meat fridge! That's a good idea.

Bumper

Why should I help you, Test?

Because if you don't, I'm taking you down.

Bumper

Down where?

The Big House, the Clink, the Slammer, the Pokey.

Bumper

The Hokey Pokey?

No. He means detention.

You? Funny? Prank?

Yeah, prank phone calling was the best thing ever. Until I pranked the wrong guy. He really didn't find it funny!

You hear that, Dukey. Prank calling is the best thing ever. Let's do it! Thanks for the advice, Dad.

So I skipped town, got plastic surgery and changed my name to Dad.

Bling-Bling

A call from the Test house! This is it! Susan is finally calling to ask me out. Why, hello?

Hello, (laughs) is your refrigerator running?

Bling-Bling

Well, I exp... wait, Johnny Test! Nice try! But I have caller I.D!