Johnny, do you even know what you're doing?
Yes. I'm pushing colourful buttons.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Okay, here's the plan: You check out that menacing-looking fake volcano, and I'll check out that forest full of fresh trees!
BBBling-Bling Boy's Mom
Son, what are you doing up there?
[finishing up an evil plan] Mother, I'm studying.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
If you were a finger, I'd pick you a booger.
Dad, why are we here so early? The water's not even awake yet!
TMr. Test
If you want to get a good spot on the beach, you have to get there- [the beach completely fills up with people] -early.
Interesting. Your skin seems to change colour with different moods. Try calming down. [Mary calms down and turns blue] You're blue! I've invented a mood lotion! [Mary gets mad and turns red again] Oh, now you're red again...
Set it for 11 years old, Sissy's coming over in five minutes!
Then maybe she likes to play with a 11 day old! Because I...tricked you!
[Susan snatches Bling-Bling's diaper]
Hello "Todd". Or should I say... Eugene?
Dinner time! This is the last of the jerky, so take small bites.
Jerky!? WE'RE ALL SICK OF JERKY!! [she slaps the plate out of Dad's hands, smashing it into pieces]
[Johnny and Dukey come up with a plan to destroy the TV]
So you pitch me the ball and I accidentally hit it through the open family room window and bash! Right into the old stinky TV. It breaks and dad buys a new one. Now pitch, dog!
[Dukey throws the ball to Johnny, but Johnny accidentally hit Hugh's car windshield]
Um, that was the windshield on your dad's car.
[counting by his fingers] 3, 2, 1...
[offscreen] JOHNNY!!!
Run.
[Johnny and Dukey run off]
[before Johnny beats The Caveman, he decided to test his costume by knocking out his opponents]
So I get to beat up Test and you guys won't call my mom?
SMSusan and Mary
Beat away.
Awesome! [he runs off to beat up Johnny]
[sprays gas at Bumper] Awesome!
[the 3 dogs bark evilly as they run until Johnny sprays perfume them, Hugh angrily arrives home and confronts Johnny after breaking his car's windshield]
Johnny! You are in big trouble mister, and you look ridiculous and- [Johnny sprays gas on him to make him hush]
[walks up to Johnny] Okay, let's go get that $10,000.
Oh you can say that again! [The Caveman runs up to him but he realize that he ran out of stink after spending it on the wrestlers] Whoa! Didn't see that coming!
[panicking] HE'S OUT OF STINK!
Come on! The door's open. Run! Run for your life!
[Johnny runs away and holds Dukey but he ends up getting hooked by The Caveman's trap]
[hanging on the hook's trap] I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck!
[The Caveman laughs as he is satisfied that Johnny is defeated]
[angrily to Susan and Mary] I told you this was dangerous! I told you something could go wrong!
What can we say? You were right.
[Johnny gets scared when The Caveman prepares defeat him]
AAnnouncer
Now The Caveman is mad and he's getting his club. And that means Stinkin' Johnny is gonna get it too! [laughs] Nothing can save Stinkin' Johnny now.
[comes in angrily dressed as the Cagin' Mad Dad] STOP RIGHT THERE!
Dad?
AAnnouncer
Except for the Cagin' Mad Dad!
[everyone laughs as The Caveman feels very annoyed]
Now that is my son and although he's in big trouble. You'll be in more if you lay 1 hand- [The Caveman throws him out and he lands on Dukey's back] Ooh, soft landing! AND YOU'LL ALL BE IN BIG TROUBLE!
[worried] But not as much as Johnny!
[The Caveman grabs Johnny off the hook]
Hey, now! If you could just put me down so I could go home and forget this whole-
CThe Caveman
Uh-huh!
Yeah, I didn't think so.
[as The Caveman prepares to defeat Johnny, Lila (who is the Overprotective Mom) climbs on The Caveman's back to grab his arm to avoid punching Johnny]
AAnnouncer
And the madness continues as the Caveman must now take the OVERPROTECTIVE MOM!
Don't you dare lay a finger on that boy!
CThe Caveman
Ooh! [he laughs as he presses Johnny's costume, then Lila grabs his arm and throws him on the floor 3 times]
AAnnouncer
And The Caveman is down for a triple way! [Lila jumps on The Caveman's back] And the body slam! Rope dive!
[Lila jumps on The Caveman's back again]
You see girls? That's why I never upset your mother.
AAnnouncer
[as Lila finishes off to defeat The Caveman] UNBELIEVABLE! The Caveman is coming back to 1 last attack.
Oh, he really shouldn't do that.
[The Caveman lands on Lila's feet as Lila pushes him out of the cage with her feet while Susan, Hugh, and Mary quickly escape, but Susan runs back to grab Dukey as The Caveman lands on the wrestlers which causes them to wake up]
AAnnouncer
And the Overprotective Mom wins!
[everyone cheers after Lila won and defeated The Caveman]
[satisfied; after his mom saved him] You were awesome! You were amazing! And you're gonna punish me, right?
Oh, big time.
[Johnny sighs thinking that he'll be grounded the next day]
[the next day, Lila and Hugh are both watching wrestling on the new HDTV while Johnny, Dukey, Susan and Mary are outside grounded]
Well, the bad news is mom and dad kept the $10,000.
But the good news is they bought a new HDTV with it.
Which I can't watch for a month 'cause I'm grounded from TV.
SMSusan and Mary
And us from the lab.
Right, so let's play some ball! [he throws the baseball to Johnny which causes him to break the new HDTV] That was the TV.
[counting by his fingers] 3, 2, 1.
LHLila and Hugh
[offscreen; angrily] JOHNNY!!!
[it can be revealed that Johnny, Dukey, and possibly Susan and Mary, might get grounded even more to find out who was breaking the new HDTV as the episode ends]
[while twisting Johnny's arm] Say uncle Test!
No!
Say, say uncle!
Never!
Say uncle and I'll give you your arm back.
I never say uncle!
Huh? Okay. Then I guess I gotta up the ante in say uncle!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.