“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Fran

Dr. Miller, I had the weirdest dream last night. Grandma Yetta was running down a football field carrying a bridal bouquet and Count Basie was waiting for her at the end zone when Miss Piggy comes walking by carrying a very lean corn beef sandwich and says: "You are not getting any younger."

Clearly the dream indicates that you are bitter and upset over the fact that your 85-year-old grandmother is getting married for the second time when you haven't been married once.

Fran

Really?! Now you see I just thought I had a thing for jazz and the Muppets. Duh!... I'm gonna stop obsessing on wanting to be married and follow my dream. From here on end, I'm gonna be a more interesting mature independent woman. Maybe then he'll propose.

It's driving me crazy, her being out with some other man. I can share these feelings with you because I'm not in love with you

Niles

[Coyly] Nobody looks good at two in the morning.

C. C.

Hello Steve, C.C. Babcock. I understand you're a professor. And you're going out with Nanny Fine. What's the matter, research wouldn't give you a chimp-

Niles

Something troubling you sir?

Oh no I'm Miss Fine, I-I mean I'm just fine.

Niles

I'll bring you back Cuban cigars.

Fran

I'll send my mother to Cuba.

Niles

I'll make you Baked Alaska.

Fran

I'll send my mother to Alaska.

In all fairness, Niles did ask me first.

Fran

He's wearing your suit!

Niles

She's wearing Ms. Gracie's skirt.

Fran

And that's how I just won.

Niles

I don't know what I was doing in that unholy alliance with Babcock.

Fran

I know. It's like Yogi dumping Boo Boo for the Ranger.

Sylvia

Since I started my diet, I went down an entire cup size.

Fran

What cup size did you go down to, Ma? Stanley?

Fran

You know I just can't wait to get out of this dress

Then I'll go get us a room

Fran

( not paying attention) Okay [realizes as he lets go of her and walks away]

C. C.

Maxwell, there's a horrifying glimpse of the future. A 250-pound apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

C. C.

When she gets here, I don't want any screw-ups. [Starts sniffing]

What are you doing?

I'm sniffing for Alberto VO 5, Top Ramen, anything that reeks of Nanny Fine.

Fran

Are you implying that I cannot keep this thing a secret?

C'mon, Ms. Fine, the only secret safe with you is your age. Barry Scheck and a whole barrel of sodium penthatol couldn't drag that out!

Do you, do you hate me? Is that what It Is? Are you trying to get back at me for backpedaling In our relationship?

Do you remember our conversation about trust?

Fine

Yea Why?

Well you realize you and I can not have a relationship If I can't trust you and It's obvious I can't

Well Wait you telling me you don't trust me? I thought we had a relationship?

Fran

Oh now wait a minute. Let me get this straight we have a relationship but only when It's convenient for you?

Niles

[To C.C] At the risk of sounding like the doctor who delivered you, this could get ugly.