[talking about Richard as he fumbles during the committe hearing broadcast] He looks like a child in a custody hearing.
But, like, you don't feel sorry for him. You just want him to go away and not have any parents at all.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Um, Gilfoyle? What the fuck is going on? 'Cause I just texted you, and you were-- Um, we've been texting back and forth all day. Was that not you?
Complicated question. Is your shadow you?
Was that a bot?
Yes.
So I spent all day chatting with a bot?
Yes.
You made an AI Gilfoyle?
Yes.
And I was talking to it?
Do you need the real me for this conversation?
My auntie sent me a Hawaiian shirt. AI Dinesh must've told her about Hawaii.
Stop. Why would AI Dinesh be talking to your aunt? I specifically told you you could only use it with Gabe.
But it was going so well with Gabe that I might've given AI Dinesh access to all my contacts [Gilfoyle glares at him] just to handle talking to my auntie, and my parents
Why would you give AI Dinesh access to your contacts, you fucking moron? I'm one of your contacts.
So?
So, at some point, AI Dinesh is going to reach out to AI Gilfoyle.
Oh, fuck. [a power outage of the entire building occurs shortly after]
"Oh, fuck" indeed.
America's Next Top Model is not a plus-sized model!
DBDouglas Bizzaro
[about Shannon] I can tell she tans a lot, and I can tell her skin on her face is starting to get a little leathery.
What I'm looking for is a star. That's all I'm looking for.
TCTessa Carlson
[on being eliminated first in the competition] I tried, and you can't do any better than that. And everything happens for a reason, right?
[on the prospect of getting a Brazilian bikini wax] There's only two people that's been down there: myself and my gynecologist—and I give him crap.
[about making the final ten contestants] I kinda feel like I'm gonna throw up!
[in confessional] I really just want to get away from everybody right now. The other girls are just...at this high volume, high energy all the time. I'm so tempted to just sit in here and be away from all the noise! [after hearing Robin, Ebony, and Shannon fighting during her confessional] Alright, I'm gonna stay in here with the door locked for just a couple more minutes!
Robin, of course, qualifies every statement with, "I'm not saying that you're going to Hell, but you're going to Hell."
My motto is, walk like it's for sale and the rent is due tonight.
[about Ebony] Her jaw was clenched. She didn't say a word to anybody—for once.
[in the confessional] I do not have the will to walk in the catwalk like I give a damn! ... But I don't want to be model. I don't. I can't. It is so—augh! It's so irrelevant. Eliminate me. Do it!
If I don't win this contest, I'll start medical school in August.
That's a lot of work.
Oh, I know.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.