AVAlgebra Villain
The fate of your train rests on Paper's ability to solve this algebra problem. [pulls the blanket off a marker board, showing an algebra question] "A train leaves the station 5:00 AM at 60 miles per hour. Another train leaves the station at 6:00 AM at 80 miles per hour traveling the same direction. At what time will they meet?"
[takes the marker out of her hand] Trick question. They've already met.
AVAlegbra Villain
It's not a riddle.
Dang it. [walks up to his sister; whispers] Okay, you know what to do here.
I do. [cracks her knuckles] Teach you algebra.
What?! No! Just take out the villain with your action skills.
Sorry, Paper. I'm with her. This is literally a teachable moment.
PPassenger
[impatient] Come on, man. Just solve the problem!
P2Passenger #2
[also impatient] Yeah, this is kindergarten math!
You're on her side, too?! Ugh! This could not be more ridiculous.
Paper, you just don't get it.
Oh, come on! You guys aren't doing anything hardcore.
Sure we are. I'm crocheting a scarf.
And I'm learning pointillism.
Fine. I can do those things too.
Paper, copying is not hardcore.
Paper, you broke the rules of storytelling?
That's as hardcore as it gets!
Really? So I can get my old room back?
Great. Scissors, are you wearing Rock's shorts again?
[wearing Rock's favorite pair of shorts] Uh, well, Mr. Parmesan was having so many parties. There was no time to do laundry. I mean-- [cut to him cramped up in Mr. Parmesan's mouse hole] This isn't fair! I can't fold like Paper can!
[Scissors is leaving the ice skating arena while talking with his therapist, Maya, on the phone]
Maya, I appreciate you checking on me, but I've felt great since I started figure skating. I think I can go without therapy for ten days.
MMaya
[on the phone with Scissors while the taxi driver takes her and her husband to the airport] Are you sure? Because you have a history of not respecting my boundaries when I'm on vacation.
[Flashback shows Scissors showing up at her wedding in Morocco]
[frantically] Paper made fun of my hair, and I need to talk about it right now!
MMaya
I can't believe you flew to Morocco.
[Cut back to him walking through the park]
I promise I'll be fine. I'll see you when you get back. [hangs up and nearly passes by the Rat Bros, who were already there, weightlifting]
Nice, bro. Nice, bro. Nice, bro. Nice, bro.
Hey, look at Mr. Glitter Pants! Are you gonna put on skates and glide around gracefully? [he and his brothers laugh teasingly]
Yeah, that's what figure skating is.
You gonna zip and whoosh and whoop-de-doo?
[Brody, Brogan and Derf laugh hysterically]
You're just saying nonsense in a bullying tone. [then runs away, crying like a baby, when Logan makes mockery nonsense at him]
Paper, how are you not sobbing? I mean, the love, the loss, the CGI monkey with a heart of gold!
I don't know. People cry at different things.
And when's the last time you cried? When the Whos in Whoville sang their Christmas song?
Are you saying I'm the Grinch?
MMaya
Scissors, you can't come with me, but you'll be okay. I'm going to refer you to my colleague, Dr. Carnahan. I think you'll really like him.
[Scissors is then sitting in the waiting room outside of Dr. Carnahan's office]
[thinking it's Logan in disguise; disbelieved] You gotta be kidding me.
[Little later, inside the office…]
So, Scissors, I understand you're dealing with a bully.
And how would you describe him? A malicious person or just not a very nice… bro?
Is this a prank? Are there cameras here?!
How 'bout this? Let's pretend I'm your bully. [speaking in a British accent] 'Ello, Scissors. Ready for some verbal lashing?
Why are you doing an accent?
I'm just guessing. I don't know this man.
Okay, I am not doing this. [starts to walk out the door, about to leave]
Listen. Can I give you some advice? Oftentimes, bullying is a cry for help, so you have to figure out what your bully needs help with. Get him to open up. And you can do that by being vulnerable first.
All right. If you think it'll work.
[In the park… The Rat Bros are weightlifting when Scissors shows up]
Hey, look. It's Mr. Glitter Pants!
[laughs] It's even funnier the second time!
You know, Logan, it hurts when you make fun of figure skating because it means a lot to me. When I first started, I couldn't even stand on the skates. But now, when I glide and spin on the ice, it reminds me just how much I can accomplish and the power I have inside. And every so often, time slows down, and I feel like I'm exactly who I want to be.
Scissors, I had no idea how important figure skating was to you. So I turned your ice rink into a pool for unshowered hairy guys.
[Scissor reacts with horror]
[talking to Dr. Carnahan, still believing it's Logan] What's your deal, man?! You're all supportive in here, but then I go out there, and this guy is nowhere to be found!
Well, it would be unprofessional if I saw you outside the office. [Scissors screams in irritation] I think you should open up to your bully again. Breaking down someone's walls takes time, and you may have planted a seed.
[having enough] No! I am done with your traps! I'll find some other way to handle this. [thrives over to the door, starting to leave]
Wait. This bullying got worse when you started figure skating, right? Well, if I were to venture a guess, I think your bully's upset because your involvement in figure skating makes him… jealous. [voice-over during a flashback of a teenager Logan in his high school years] Perhaps he wanted to be a figure skater, too, but the other kids bullied him for doing an activity boys didn't really do at the time. And maybe he went to a bro-y school where the cool thing to do was wear backwards hats and lift weights. So in order to survive, he gave up what he loved most. [end of flashback] So I wonder if… and again, just guessing… your bully is taking out his childhood frustration on you for pursuing the dream he never could.
[approaching the Rat Bros at the park] Hey, Logan, this is for ruining my skate rink! [runs away, stealing the cleaning wipes for their equipment]
He took the wipes we use to clean the equipment!
We can't lift without those! IT'S UNSANITARY!
GET HIM! [he and his brothers chase after Scissors all the way downtown to the ice skating arena, and find him standing on the ice rink as the lights come on; surprised] There's another ice rink?
There wasn't, but it turns out, unshowered hairy guys are great builders. I have an extra pair of skates. [takes out another pair of ice skates, begging Logan to come forth] You can be exactly who you want to be.
I get it now. You wanted someone to help you figure skate again.
[baffled] Again? I've never figure skated in my life.
What are you talking about? Isn't that why you bullied me? Wasn't this the cry for help?
No, I just bullied you 'cause I thought figure skating was for dorks. But this opened up so many emotional doors I didn't know I had. I should talk to a therapist about it. [cut to him visiting Dr. Carnahan's office, revealing they're both the same person]
Well, this clears up a lot.
[The trio are flying in the sky on their Susan vehicle with 500 tubs of cheeseburger flavored ice cream]
Hurry, Paper! Our 500 tubs of limited edition cheeseburger ice cream are melting!
I'm going as fast as I can, but I can't see through the clouds!
It's not gonna make it! We need to eat it all now!
[after the trio crashes through the roof of his house] What on earth is going on?
RPRock, Paper & Scissors
[all surprised] Henry Winkler?!
Yup, it's me. [to the viewers] I actually said yes to this.
[screams in excitement] Mr. Winkler, I am your biggest fan! I love your acting, your children's books, you can do no wrong.
I guess you didn't see my off-Broadway version of Kinky Boots.
You guys?! How did you get out of prison?
Well, thanks to you, we now know one of us is good at opening locks.
[as Paper uses him to cut the locks on the gate] Ah! Paper, you know I have teeth!
Time to put you away and clear our names.
Good news, friends. Things have been going swimmingly with me and my special lady.
[looking at a photo of him and Pencil playing around with an electric plasma ball] I can't even remember the last time I did something embarrassing around her. Oh. Yes, I can.
Paper, I think you confused Toluene with Toluidine.
Oh. How embarrassing. [lets out a flatulence] I'm having a bad day. Anyway, I'm going to meet her tonight for a romantic dinner, tell her how I feel, and ask her to be my girlfriend. If she says yes, I'll feel like the luckiest man alive. And if she says no, I'll turn into a red-hot ball of inexhaustible rage and take it out on all of you guys. But who knows? [skips away]
Wanna film that for our channel?
Worth a shot. Maybe it'll appease Grandma.
I always knew you were into me. But I should warn you, I'm a heartbreaker.
Potato, listen, I don't want this.
Oh, my gosh! You need this?
I get it, Paper. I'm super desirable. There's a reason they call me "Hot Tots."
BBruiser
[entering Pencil's apartment] Hot Tots! Say it ain't so! You broke up with me for him?!
Bruiser, get out of here.
BBruiser
[pointing to Paper] So you're the guy who think he's good enough for Potato.
Paper, of course you're good enough.
