“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

[to Jones] As a Candidate, you're here to learn. That means keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut.

What am I dealing with here?

Severide

Jones?

Yeah.

Severide

She's smart, she's aggressive, she's talented. But she also has a truly massive chip on her shoulder. She might make a great firefighter someday but it'll take more patience than I have. I tried to bounce her from the academy but her big-shot daddy put the kibosh on that one.

You're telling me this now??

Severide

You just asked now.

Mouch

[to Jones] Oh hey, Jonesy, just a heads up. If lunch isn't on the table at twelve sharp, the natives start to get restless.

And by "natives", he means himself.

Severide

There's only two things you need to know in order to succeed here: do your job, keep your mouth shut.

When I woke up in the hospital and saw what a close call I had, I started to realize how much of my life I'd wasted fretting over all the stupid little stuff. You can't see beyond the horizon. You don't know how much you still got laying ahead of you.

To commemorate Herrmann's last day producing sperm.

It'll keep producing sperm. It's just not gonna make it like–– [Jones uncovers a cake box] Oh boy.

Is that a rocket blasting off?

So I'm guessing the twentieth anniversary gift is wood?

A formal complaint has been lodged against you.

What did I do?

Three guesses.

The cake?

There you go.

That was a joke. A joke that I paid for with my own money by the way. And Herrmann loved it.

We love a good prank, believe me, but that's not the issue.

So what's the issue?

It's about what's appropriate in the workplace.

You thought it was funny, Lieutenant. You're the one who made the wood comment.

[pauses] Good point. [looks at Boden] All yours, Chief.

Benny Severide

Never go out alone. Bad things can happen if you get caught out in the wild alone.

Herrmann, I'm asking you nicely, please let me have Molly's. Please.

I'm telling you. Unexpected combo party. You bring the peanut butter, I got the chocolate. Boom, peanut butter cups.

What am I in for, exactly? For the urologist to report the procedure and you're gonna like put it up on the flat screens?

I got it all worked out. Gonna be fine.

Mouch

[shakes head] Bad idea.

Shut it, Mouch.

Are we really gonna do this?

Her father is Deputy District Chief. He could make work in PR if he wanted to.

It's gonna be like killing Bambi.

You have his office number. You are welcome to give him a call if you like.

I spent my whole life watching my dad, dreaming about what it would be like fighting fires, saving people. I don't mean to wallow. I hate wallowers.

But Jones, I've been there. Those first few calls, when it hits you that you're not gonna save everyone, that someone's gonna die on your watch no matter what you do, I didn't take it easy either. Trust me.

Severide

A fellow firefighter is a brother, no matter what the city.

Does anybody mind if I use one of these lawyers as a latrine? 'Cause that's what they deserve.

Herrmann, I'm eating.

All right, sorry.

Hey, apartment's ours.

That's fantastic!

Yeah. We just have to meet the landlord tomorrow at 3:00. Show him we're not serial killers.

[watching Dawson and Casey argue] This is when Lee Henry starts shouting, "Are you getting divorced? Can I live with Mom?"